#caspian oneshot

[heliads]

Ok so I saw how you said you wanted to write for narnia in your request guidelines so, imagine if you will:

Reader and Caspian with a sort of rivals to friends to lovers. Charting the transition from "My prince" (Sarcastic) to "My prince" (playfull, joking) to eventually "MY prince" (loving). Hope this makes sense, lots of love <3

when people check the request guidelines <333 also this request was so good that i had the people vote upon it. soldier reader for the win

masterlist

You’re not sure what makes you more angry, the fact that you broke your sword or that the prince was there to see it. If it were not enough of a ruination to your day to have your blade break in half like a child’s wooden toy, if it were not enough to have to retreat through the storms of other fights and clashing metal and skulk to the background to get another, you were witnessed by the one person you detest most of all.

You should not be hating Prince Caspian. He just makes it rather easy to do so. He is the physical embodiment of this world, the crown on high, the savior of your every waking hour, all because he happened to be born into the right family at the right time. It is not his fault that he is one of the most powerful men in all of Narnia, but it is not the result of his labor, either. He is simply the prince, and there is nothing more to say on the matter.

That is quite different from you, then. You had to claw your way up through the ranks, sacrificing skin and sweat so you could eke out a win time and time again. Your trials served you well, gilding your brow with the title of captain of the guard, but it wasn’t like anything was handed to you. No, not at all. Yet, by virtue of his predestined position, Caspian technically has control over every soldier in Narnia. He outranks all of your efforts by the crown put on his head when he was just an infant.

This is the way of the world, and the way that it has always been. It makes no sense for you to hate him so fervently over something he cannot control. Caspian is an easy scapegoat, though, a figurehead for you to heap your regrets upon like laurels. It is not his fault that he was made prince. It is not his fault that you despise him for being one.

You’ve had time to grow accustomed to your life of blood and sweat, however, and today should have been no different. This morning was an amalgamation of at least a dozen different mistakes, though, and that ruined your day before it hardly even started. You woke up a little too late, you snapped at your friends then regretted it half a second later, and now you’ve gone and broken your blade, too.

It wasn’t your best weapon, at least that counts for something. Your finest sword is your most prized possession, and lies in careful hiding back in your quarters. This was merely your practice weapon, one designed to be battered and beaten all in the means of furthering the skills of you and your men.

Still, it stings to see it lying on the dusty ground of the training yard, shiny metal fragments already beginning to cloud over with grime. You sigh, signaling to your partner that you’ll have to abandon the match for now, and carefully pick up the pieces. When you stand, cradling the shards of your sword like a child, you look up and see Caspian of all people staring at you from across the training yard. Evidently he’s arrived just to see your sword fail.

Wonderful timing as always from him. You have to marvel at how he does it. You half think Caspian carefully plans his excursions into the swordsman's arenas when he believes you to be least ready to see him. You meet his gaze for a moment longer, then turn, heading back towards the rows of equipment on the far side of the yard.

You murmur at least half a dozen curses as you go, running them over your tongue like a prayer. The broken pieces of your sword can be turned into the armorer in the hopes that something will become of them, but you highly doubt that. In the meantime, you’ll have to dig up the coin to buy yourself a new sword, and risk damaging your primary weapon in the meantime. How splendid.

A voice sounds from behind you, one that makes you grit your teeth despite the soothing intonations. “You know, if you’re stabbing our own men so hard your weapon shatters, I’m afraid to see what you’ll do to our enemies.”

You grimace to yourself, then turn around to face Caspian, expression resolute. “Fear not, my prince, your men will be spared from me today. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to break swords when a battle arises.”

Caspian arches a brow, perhaps at the tone you direct towards his title. “If you speak with that much thrill over the thought of war, I’m beginning to fear that you may not be my best advisor regarding the maintenance of peace.” 

As if he’d ever listen to you long enough to consider you an advisor. The two of you snap at each other’s throats every time you get within shouting range. “Perhaps I just like a chance to fight.”

“I think I’ve noticed that,” Caspian murmurs, bemused.

It takes great strength to keep from glaring at him, strength that fails you by the second. “You’ll have to excuse me, I must go to the blacksmith for repairs.”

His face falls. “You won’t be continuing in the ring today? I had hoped to best you yet again.”

His lips quirk up as he says it, making the insult lose some of its barb, but it still makes your temper flare. “I’m afraid not. Blades are not as easily bought by soldiers as princes, I must see if I can salvage this one before going to the trouble of a purchase.”

Caspian seems half a second of self control from rolling his eyes. “There are more swords in the yard, L/N. Simply select another and we can go for a round or two.”

He gestures towards the training yard expectantly, and you feel the weight of your difference in stations come crashing down around you. Caspian will not stop asking until you fight him, that is his birthright. He does not know what it means to be disobeyed. And, as the captain of his guard, you cannot argue. This you know to be true, even if Caspian is unaware of just how he’s wielding his influence. There is nothing you can do to circumvent him.

You force your expression to go icily cold, devoid of any and all emotion. Even the anger, which was sparking through you so readily before, vanishes from your disposition. Caspian blinks in surprise at the sudden change, more so when you abruptly drop the pieces of your broken blade to the ground, where they send up a small storm of dust.

“Of course,” you say, even-syllabled, “how could I ever think to do anything else? Your word is my command, my prince.”

You pack as much loathing as possible into those syllables. Caspian flinches as if you’ve hit him, and then his confidence is gone, his eyes downcast. “If you don’t want to–” He begins in a whisper, but you’re already moving briskly towards the rows of extra blades.

“I most certainly want to,” you answer him, the borrowed blade seeming to cut into your hand despite the smooth leather grip, “you have asked, and that is all the motivation I should ever need.”

Caspian swallows hard, opens his mouth to say something, but you swing your blade at his head before he can manage it. This is utterly wrong behavior for a soldier towards a prince, but Caspian has never seemed to have a problem with your actions before, no matter how challenging. It’s as if both of your prides are so strong that they could overcome any class barrier set in your way.

Caspian barely parries your sword before it cuts into his head. Grunting with effort, he twists his weapon, forcing you to step back as he disengages, striking towards you in return. Seizing the opportunity, Caspian presses his advantage, taking a few quick steps and maneuvering the two of you further into the training yard and into the designated spaces for fighting.

Words are clearly still clinging to his tongue, begging to be spoken aloud, but this is no longer a place for conversation. It takes everything in you to counter his attacks, to spot when he’s off balance and lunge with piercing precision towards every gap in Caspian’s defense. You may hate the dark-haired prince with every fiber of your being, but you cannot deny that he is skilled. He might be the only one here capable of providing a challenge to you. You might hate him even more for that, or worse, not at all.

Caspian feints to his left, then his right. You ignore both distractions and plunge your weapon straight towards his heart. Expecting your belligerence in regards to his ploys, Caspian parries the strike and returns it with one of his own. You move to take a quick sidestep, but the ground is slick beneath your feet with mud from yesterday’s rain and you stumble. It’s the slightest of missteps, but for someone at Caspian’s level, it is enough.

He lunges forward, and you feel the shadow of the stone wall on your back before he pushes you into it. The rock is cold against your back, driving the air from your lungs. You try to force your way towards the center of the yard again, but Caspian has his sword at your throat, and any movement would lead to you cutting your own neck.

Unwilling to yield quite yet, you stay silent. You and Caspian breathe in and out, the deep gasps for air first discordant and then slowly, steadily, joining in a shared rhythm.

Caspian speaks first, you know he’s been waiting for it. “You hate me.”

You scoff. “You hate me. This is not an exclusive feeling.”

He exhales harshly, exasperated. “Stop deflecting everything onto me. We could have been friends.”

You laugh, tilting your head back to give him a better chance to slit your throat. “You are a prince. I would never have been anything but nothing to you.”

Caspian’s eyes widen. He moves away from you unsteadily, first closer than he’s ever been, then gone, halfway across the yard in what feels like just a second. You let your eyes shudder closed, exhausted from the intensity of the fight but perhaps something more as well. When you open your lids, he is gone. He had just arrived, but he is nowhere to be seen now. That could be no one’s fault but yours. He is not your friend. But. He could be so, so much more. 

Three days later, a gift arrives in your quarters. You unwrap the cloth bindings to reveal a sword nestled within the folds. You can tell at once that it has been perfectly selected for you– the heft is just right for your level of strength, the grip matches your hands exactly, and the edges are razor sharp, ideal for those slashes towards the forearms you’ve been so fond of as of late.

It comes swathed in a rich purple cloth, the sort of color you’ve only ever seen decorating Caspian’s frame as he walks with his troops or speaks to his nobles. An angrier, more bitter part of you wants to reject the gift entirely, to toss it from your room like refuse or return it back to him at once. Still, it is a fine blade, and you know that were you to just pick it up, it would feel exactly right, an extension of your arm into shining metal.

So, the sword joins the rest of your collections, and the purple linen ends up tucked away in your desk, carefully folded into a neat square of color and creases. You cannot explain why you do either, not even to yourself. 

The next time you’re called out with your regiment to guard the prince and some foreign powers on a diplomatic mission, the sword is on your belt, your hand resting on its hilt. Caspian sees and something changes in his expression; a deepening of a smile, a pleased spark in his eyes. For some reason, you cannot hate him for being proud. Not today.

He finds you later, once the crowds have dispersed and he doesn’t have to be a prince, just a man. “What a fine sword that is,” he remarks pleasantly.

You narrow your eyes. “Don’t. Don’t even.”

Caspian spreads his hands, the picture of innocence. “I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about.”

“You had better not,” you grumble.

He nods solemnly. “Of course. Just a random thought, however, it really is a nice blade. It must have been picked out by an exceedingly good swordsman. Perhaps even the best in the castle.”

You should be irritated with him for being so bothersome again. Instead, you find yourself fighting a smile. “It’s a shame, then, that the only swordsman here worth his salt is me.”

Caspian’s mouth drops comically. “That cannot be true.”

“It is,” you reply as casually as you can, “I come to you with only the best information, my prince. Only the best.”

He starts to respond, but something stops him, something that makes him smile quietly. Your stomach flips with the unsettling feeling of having missed out on a joke, but for once, you don’t entirely mind it. Instead, the two of you walk all the way back to the castle, and only when the diplomats arrive again must you be parted. It is not the worst use of your time.

Caspian finds you again two nights later. You’re on a shift guarding a section of the castle walls, which gives you an excellent view of the foreign powers riding away into the darkness. They’ve been here for days now, testing Caspian’s patience like no one else, not even you.

He joins you soon enough, exhaustedly leaning his arms up against the stone battlements. “I think I hate politics,” he murmurs into the night air.

You chuckle, the quiet sound abnormally loud in the darkness. It should make you self conscious, and it does, but not as much as it would for anyone else. The hot prick of awareness in your stomach is both doubly strong and doubly weak because you are next to Caspian; why, you cannot explain, but it is true.

“You are a prince,” you point out, “politics was always something you would have to do.”

Caspian groans. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it. That’s why I always envied you, you know. You got to carry the banner and fight the battles without any political conniving.”

You stare at him in shock. “That cannot be true. No future king could ever want to be a mere soldier.”

He laughs derisively. “As if you’ve ever been a mere soldier. Not to me,” he adds on afterthought, and you’re not sure that it was even meant for your ears, “no, not to me.”

You shake your head slowly. “But I thought you hated me. All this time, you’ve merely wanted to join me in fighting without a care?”

Caspian’s brow furrows. “Hate you? No, no. I never hated you. I never could hate you.”

He straightens up, slowly walking over to you. There is no one else on the castle wall to see you, no one below. Even still, your eyes feel like more than enough of an audience to find some reason to stop this before the pounding in your heart blocks out your ability to breathe properly.

“My prince,” you say, a warning. It doesn’t make him flinch like it used to, a blow grown familiar, worn down to the weight of a feather instead of that of a blade.

Caspian sighs, the listless air leaving him and vanishing just as quickly on the wind. “Don’t tell me you haven’t wanted this. That you’ve never thought about it.”

“I couldn’t,” you whisper, and something in you cracks in half when his face falls, “but you could.”

Caspian’s eyes dart cautiously up to you again. “Are you sure?”

Neither of you have to specify what he means for you to know. “Yes,” you breathe.

You did not anticipate this night to end with you kissing the crown prince of Narnia. That being said, you would not want to have it any other way. There may be foreign dignitaries out there plotting the end of his reign, or political turmoils present to claim most of his time, but tonight, Caspian is yours and yours alone. It makes you smile into him. It makes everything that much better.

narnia tag list: empty for now!

[padfootagain]

His Heart in Your Hands

Hi everyone! Today, we’re answering a request for my 6k event made by @jackys-stuff-blog for our dear King Caspian: “*Yikes* I need to be fast uhm... Okay, congratulations on 6k followers again, you deserve it 😊 Can I request something for king caspian with this prompt Wounded character leads to confession. Where he comes back from a journey and the reader is patches him up (she is working in the Castle) Please? Thank you 😌🥺❤️🫂 I hope it's okay like that Oh, only if you have some places for requests left”

Thank you so much for your request! I hope you like this!

Hope you all like this, tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: King Caspian x reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of blood and description of a wound, violence… our baby’s fighting!

Summary: Caspian comes back to Cair Paravel alive after a campaign against a neighbouring kingdom, but he’s still in a pretty bad shape. You’ve been worried sick about him, and even if you are but a servant, even if it’s not your place… you can’t help but look for him that night, just to make sure that he’s alright.

Word Count: 2950

Caspian’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

You knew that you shouldn’t be there, and yet, you couldn’t help your feet as they crossed the castle.

You were but a servant, after all, you ought to remain where you belonged. Which was anywhere but near the King. And yet…

… yet there you were, in front of the door of his private chamber, with some water and some clothes and bandages in your hands.

You had managed to convince your colleague to let you go in her stead; to have an excuse to offer the guards to let you pass and access the King’s private chambers. And she disapproved of your feelings towards the leader of your people, but she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand that you knew him. That you had spent long evenings with him, when you should have been cleaning and he should have been resting; talking, laughing, falling in love, one dreadful and yet irrevocable step at a time. A love that you had never confessed, knowing that he would not feel the same, knowing that this was impossible.

There had been rumours spreading while he was gone, talks of a terrible injury, the kind that could be lethal. Talks of his death, even. Of Caspian being hit by the sharp edge of a blade across the chest, of his blood staining the grass and making the cold ground fume. Of his eyes closing forever, of a last breath being drawn… And you refused to believe it. Even when people started to guess the name of the next King, you refused to give in. Something inside you knew that he was still out there, alive and breathing and that he would come home, eventually. Your friends called it delusion, denial. You preferred to call it instinct.

Still, when you had seen him, along with a large crowd gathered by the doors of Cair Paravel to welcome him back, you were worried. Everybody was. If he was smiling, Caspian was paler than you had ever seen him, his arm wrapped in a bandage, pain written all over his features despite his best efforts to hide it. Instead of the traditional banquet, the King had retired to his chambers as quickly as he could to rest, and rumours were starting again, claiming that his injury was worse than it seemed, that his life was still at stake, that a doctor was there constantly, that he had called for his advisors to decide on who would step next to the throne, just in case…

You had to make sure that none of these rumours were true, that he was fine. So, you imagined that trick with your colleague, convinced her to do it. And if she was supposed to give the bandages and the water to the guards, you had claimed that you had been told to bring them directly to the King. A royal order. No one could go against that. If Caspian failed to back up your story, you could be fired, or worse, sent in a dark cell for many years, but you didn’t care. Caspian and his injury were the only things on your mind.

You gathered your courage in a long intake of breath, and finally knocked on Caspian’s door.

His answer sounded distant, weaker than usual. Still, you obeyed the invitation, opened the door and walked in.

Caspian was lying in his bed, pillows set against the headboard so he could be half-seated. There were candles on his bedside table, and a warm fire in the hearth, and yet the room was dark, the inky sky shy of a moon and stars tonight. A half-eaten meal rested in a small tray by the bed, a book was set on the covers. And Caspian was there, buried under blankets, looking weak for the first time since you had met him.

Oh, you knew that he could be a gentle soul, you had talked about his weaknesses, he had showed you parts of his heart few had been lucky enough to glimpse at. But this was different. Somehow, over the course of the last year, ever since you had started speaking to him in private, Caspian had been a constant in your life. Once a week, you would sit together in the library, or in the gardens if the weather was gentle enough to allow it, and you would talk about yourselves, about what had happened in your lives while you were apart, about his worries, and your tasks, and he would complain about foreign dignitaries that drove him crazy, and you would laugh as you mocked some impolite lords and ladies. Every week for a year, you had been longing for these few hours spent with him, for his reassuring presence by your side, for the attentive ear he was lending to your unimportant life. And perhaps it was stupid, because again, you were but a servant, but during all these evenings you couldn’t help but believe him when he said that he cared, that he wanted to see you, that he was happy to spend time with you. It had been a regular meeting that had marked your life in such a way that you could not imagine living without it now.

And now, Caspian was lying in a bed, pale as sheets, beard a little overgrown, eyes so tired they seemed buried in their sockets, dark bags dug under his eyes. And for the first time, you thought that perhaps the rumours were true, that his life truly was endangered, that you could lose him for good…

“Y/N?”

He beamed up at you, a tiny bit of colour coming back to his cheeks for a moment, you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Your Majesty,” you bowed before walking closer, setting the water and clothes on a small table near the bed.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, but there was no resentment in his voice, more like disbelief, a tinge of awe at the sight of you.

“I came to take care of your bandages.”

“You?”

“I… I might have insisted…”

He chuckled, but quickly winced instead, hissing as his hand flew to hold his ribs. And he looked exhausted all over again.

“I apologize… broken ribs,” he explained. “Laughing is not recommended for a few more days.”

“I am sorry, I did not mean to cause you any pain. I can come back later…”

“No!”

He held out his hand, and you had no choice but to take it.

“Please, stay,” he asked, begging, and you had never seen such desperation in his eyes before. “Please…”

“Alright, I will stay.”

He pulled you closer, gently, until you would sit by his side; and he smiled at the feeling of the mattress bending slightly under your weight.

“What happened?” you asked, suddenly conscious of the quiet in the room, a silence barely disturbed by the cracking of the fire and the lulling movement of the wind.

He gave you a reassuring smile.

“I shall be healed in a few weeks, there is no need for you to worry.”

“There are rumours…”

“I am certain that they are most interesting. When is my untimely demise supposed to occur?”

He seemed relaxed despite his tiredness, and you caught yourself smiling at his joke.

“About three days ago.”

“Dear Aslan, I am back from the dead already!”

“It would seem so. You look the part, at least.”

He tried not to laugh, and you apologized as he winced.

“I have missed this.”

“My obvious disrespect toward my King?”

“You. I have missed you.”

He blinked, and you thought he needed rest, but he asked for you to stay again, just a little longer, and you couldn’t refuse.

“You did not answer. What happened?”

Caspian shrugged.

“It was a battle, I was wounded. There is nothing else to say about it.”

Slowly, you nodded, knowing that he was avoiding your question, but letting him get away with it.

“I should change your bandage. And then, I will let you rest.”

“Do I truly look so bad?” he asked with a crooked smile, but it faltered as you averted your eyes. It was your time to avoid his question.

You helped him out of his shirt, revealing the large bandage that encircled his torso and shoulder. He had another one around his arm. Both wounds were deep cut, that had been stitched by the expert hands of a doctor. Still, as you stared at the broken flesh, at the spots of blood still on his skin, at the red line crossing his chest… you realized just as lucky he was to still be breathing.

The rumours, if exaggerated, were not unfounded either…

You got to work in silence, hands shaking as you held back tears. Because you could have lost him this time, he could have never come back home, and then you would have never been able to tell him what he meant for you. That he was everything. That you loved him with a devotion you had never guessed yourself capable of. With a love you knew could never falter…

“Y/N?”

He wrapped his hand around yours, steadying your trembling fingers. You realised, then, that you were crying.

“I am fine. It is just a wound, it will heal.”

You didn’t stop him when he guided your palm to his heart, splaying your hand across his warm chest, and your heart staggered at the contact. He made you feel the organ hidden there, beating steadily, unwaveringly.

“I am fine. I am here,” he went on, tone soothing, unbelievably warm, and it made you cry even harder, breaking all of the borders to your hearts, all the walls guarding your soul.

“I was so scared,” you admitted, voice hoarse with your cries. “I am so scared…”

“There is no reason for you to worry. It will heal. I am perfectly fine. I simply need a few days of rest, and then everything will be back to normal.”

“You could have died…”

“But I did not.”

“This time. This time, you did not. What about next time?”

“Next time, I will not die either. I will come back, and you will be here to welcome me home, just as you are here now.”

He brushed your tears away with his thumb.

“Stop crying. I cannot see you in pain.”

But you didn’t calm down, and he frowned in worry.

“Y/N, what is it? What is on your mind? What has you so upset?”

Under your palm, his heart was still beating, you could feel it run across your entire body. You would have sworn your own heart was in sync with his now.

“I am sorry,” you whispered. “I cannot help it. The way… the way I feel for you. I am sorry.”

He frowned slightly at that, but there was some hope in his eyes as well.

“I think… Seeing you like this… I cannot hold it back any longer. I just… I must let it out. Even if I know that this is impossible, and that my feelings are unrequited… and perhaps you will never want to see me again but… it hurts too much to think that you could have died without knowing.”

You were bolder than you had ever believed yourself to be capable of when you reached up to touch his cheek, fingers tickled by his beard.

“I love you,” you confessed in a breath that even you could barely hear, and yet Caspian seemed to catch it loud and clear. The way his breath caught in his throat, and his heart under your palm sped up, became erratic… all these were giving him away. “I love you, Caspian. I have loved you for a long time. And… I know that I am servant, and that I will never be more than a faithful friend to you, but… I wanted to tell you, while I have the chance. Because despite being forbidden, my feelings are earnest, and that ought to mean something… If anything, it ought to be worthy of acknowledgement, at the very least…”

You were surprised to find tears in Caspian’s eyes, some that he tried to blink away, but failed to force into disappearance. Instead, he pressed your palm harder against his chest, and his heart was beating dangerously fast now. And through his gesture, he was trying to tell you something, or rather, to show you, as words were failing him now.

But you didn’t understand, and so he cleared his throat, at long last.

“I did not think that you felt this way for me.”

“I thought I was being obvious,” you replied, a painful smile on your lips. “All of my colleagues know. They have guessed. They call me a fool for it, and they are right, of course.”

“A fool?”

“You are King, and I am a servant. There is no more foolish love as this one.”

“I highly disagree. If anything… if anything, I am happy you are letting yourself yield to such foolishness.”

You frowned at his words, afraid to understand what he meant.

He looked down for a moment, looking for the right words, it seemed, and you gave him the time he needed to start speaking. Anyway, you didn’t know what to say.

“If you are opening your heart to me, then… I reckon that I should open mine as well. I… I was hoping you would come, that I would see you today. But I was worried that you would not want to see me, so I did not ask for you to come.”

You frowned at that.

“Why would I not want to see you?”

Caspian shrugged.

“I did not think that you harboured such feelings for me. I thought… I thought I was a mere friend. You have never shown any sign that there could be more…”

“You are King, there cannot be more. Despite my feelings, I am well aware that there will never be anything more between us.”

But Caspian shook his head, capturing your gaze in the blackness of his irises.

“Y/N… I am King. I am the one making the laws, I can marry whoever I want.”

He said it like it was easy. Like it would not create rumours, create tensions with other lands, like it would not infuriate the entirety of the Lords and Ladies, like the whole of Narnia would not criticize his choice. Like it merely depended on the two of you. It seemed such a foolish view of the world, naïve, too much so for such a clever man.

“The political crisis that would follow would be disastrous.”

“Why would it be? There is nothing wrong in falling in love. There is nothing wrong in marrying the woman I love either. We have never behaved in a disrespectful way, we have never crossed any line that should have remained uncrossed. There is nothing wrong with this…”

The woman I love.

His words echoed still in your ears, in your heart as well. You could not believe them… or rather, you could not believe that they were meant for you.

“Besides, there is a very easy solution to our problem.”

“Really?”

“I can dismiss you from the castle. Then you will no longer be a servant working at Cair Paravel. And then, if you want me, I can marry you.”

You stopped breathing altogether, and Caspian seemed amused by your expression. The smile that formed on his tired features was full of fondness.

“It is funny that you blame me for being blind, when you have been just as unable to see the truth as I was. I thought, too, that I was being quite obvious.”

“You cannot be meaning that.”

But he pressed your palm tighter against the skin of his chest, so you could feel even more vividly the beating of his heart against your hand, until it felt like you were touching it, like you were holding the organ itself.

He looked at you with such intensity, the entire world around you had disappeared.

“Y/N… do you not know…? Do you not know that my heart is yours? That it has always been yours? Can you not feel it?”

He gave you a gentle smile, voice barely more than a whisper and much deeper than usual, the weight of the confession making it too hard for him to breathe.

“My heart is in the palm of your hand, where it has always belonged. It has always been yours to hold in your hands.”

It was his turn to reach for your cheek, and you leaned into his touch without noticing. When he gently pulled you down, failing strengths not allowing him to lean up to meet you, you didn’t resist. Instead, you allowed him to guide you to him, until his lips and yours were but a breath away from each other.

“I love you,” he whispered, and your heart, you thought, exploded. “Can I… Can I do this? Y/N, I have been dreaming about this for so long…”

Instead of answering, of granting him permission to finally kiss you, you were the one to close the distance between your mouths, kissing him achingly, with every bit of your worry, your love, your passion, your withheld feelings poured into him through the tender gesture. And he responded with the same strength, the same unwavering desire to hold you closer, to devour you until you were one, to show you just as much he felt for you…

You kissed for a long time, forgetting about the world, the duties, the ranks and the time that passes. And in your palm, his heart was beating.

[saltwaterburns]

giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair while being 3 hours into peter pevensie edits

[pariahsparadise]

ye of little faith | e. p.

nav. | m.list

summary: eustace doesn't believe that edmund has a girlfriend.

wc: 800

pairings: edmund pevensie x fem!reader

warnings: VERY unedited. also it's 1am and i just wrote this in a burst of inspiration, so please don't expect it to be good.

a/n: i don't really know if this will make sense to anyone lol, i think i wrote it in a confusing way, but hopefully it's okay. it's mostly eustace's pov, i wanted to try something new. also, this exact scenario has been in my head for months now.

“There’s no way he has a girlfriend,” Eustace tells Lucy, barging into the room. She immediately knows who he’s talking about, able to hear Edmund on the phone downstairs, voice softer than it usually is, taking the tone he automatically opts for when he speaks to Y/N.

“Why?” Lucy asks, half-heartedly entertaining her annoying cousin while she thumbs through the pages of her book. Unfortunately for her, Eustace Scrubb brightens at the attention, straightening up and launching into a rather well-thought out spiel.

“First of all, it’s Edmund we’re talking about. He’s awkward, way too hostile and bad-tempered. Not to mention, he’s barely of average height, and his hair? Absolutely ridiculous.”

“Y/N likes it,” Lucy says mildly, earning a scoff from Eustace.

“Y/N.” he says with disbelieving scorn, “As if she actually exists. You expect me to believe that a woman as beautiful and intelligent as you lot claim she is would actually be interested in Edmund? And so interested that she calls and writes to him multiple times a week? Yeah, right. I bet that Ed’s hired an escort to help him forget about how lonely he actually is. Or he’s paying some poor girl to play the part of a caring partner.” Eustace has had many such theories, the more creative ones dealing with blackmail and holding family members hostage, but so far, monetary imbursements seem to be the most likely.

“Sure, Eustace,” Lucy mumbles, having checked out of the conversation a while ago. He shakes his head at her disinterest, convinced that he is right, and leaves the room, muttering to himself disbelievingly.

A few days later, a painting gushes out water and swallows them whole, so poor Eustace, although having taunted his cousins with his skepticisms about the magical land of Narnia and called them fools for believing in the same, is forced to confront that he was wrong. 

Eustace is soaking wet and miserable, still slightly panic infused. He can’t believe his eyes, convinced that he hallucinated the last fifteen minutes. Sitting on the ship, the Dawn Treader, he watches as his cousins are recognised as King and Queen. He’s related to royalty. 

With a humorous snort, he realises that this is more believable than Edmund Pevensie having a girlfriend.

Hell, even the talking rat next to him is more believable.

He goes to voice the same, but is distracted by a joyous whoop descending from the sky, followed by a splash in the ocean. Eustace is too busy trying to catch a glimpse of the figure underwater to notice the hopeful glances Edmund and Lucy exchange, the faint tremour in Edmund’s hands as he snatches a telescope from a passing crew member, getting a clearer view.

“It is her!” Ed cries, only barely held back from jumping overboard by Caspian, who laughs fondly at the Just King. Eustace tries to hear what the Prince tells Edmund, but all noise turns to mush the second he sees the young woman surface, a brilliant smile on her face.

At first glance, he thinks it’s a siren. He’s heard stories about their enchanting beauty and ethereal forms, and Eustace does genuinely believe that this woman is too gorgeous to be human like he is. As she swims closer, though, and the ship's crew help pull her onto the ship, Eustace notices the lack of a tail. And though her hair is soaked and strewn across her face, and her clothes suction themselves to her skin, none of it takes away from her radiance.

It also doesn’t distract him from the fact that she’s walking right towards him. 

Eustace’s mouth goes bone dry, and he gulps nervously, afraid she’ll talk to him and afraid she won’t, when suddenly, Edmund swoops past him and towards the woman. He snatches her up in a passionate embrace, hands securing her to him as he twirls her around in sheer delight.

When they kiss, chaste but heady, Eustace decides that he has never actually known anything about anything.

He’s scouring the sky for flying pigs when he hears Edmund’s self-satisfied voice behind him, “And this, my very real girlfriend, Y/N, would be my cousin, Eustace Scrubb.”

“How do you do?” Eustace says weakly, extending a hand, trying his hardest not to faint when you take it.

“Pretty well. If only Edmund would- what was it again?- stop holding my family hostage, I think I’d be great,” you rib amiably, throwing back one of Eustace’s earliest theories back into his now scarlet face.

“No, darling, you’ve got it wrong, I’ve currently got your dogs kidnapped and ready to be shipped to the pound, remember?” Edmund joins in on the fun, his smile widening as he earns a couple of chuckles from you, and a darker flush from Eustace’s cheeks. 

Eustace Scrubb, though unwilling, is forced to admit, after watching the two of you interact, gravitating towards each other naturally, at ease with the love that surrounds you, his cousin’s eyes brighter than he’s ever seen them, that it is very believable for Edmund Pevensie to be dating Y/N L/N after all. 

[slaymitchabernathy]

The Nanny

꧁ One Week Later ꧂

Soarynn brings her hands up to her mouth, blowing air onto them in hopes of warming them up. It snowed last night and the children have been itching to explore the fresh blanket of fallen snow since the second they woke up.

The girls giggle while they run around the snow-covered grounds, leaving behind tiny footprints. Soarynn smiles at the sight, doing her best to forget about how terrified she had been a week prior. To forget about the attack.

When they arrived at the Capitol the morning after, they moved silently. No one had been made aware of the conflict that took place in Four and Coriolanus planned on keeping it that way. They exited through the front of the train, heading down a dark maintainence tunnel where a car was waiting for them.

Very few people were told about the attack, such as Quintus Heavensbee and the family doctor who conducted several checks on Soarynn and the children once they were safely inside the President's Mansion. He told her that her nose wasn't broken, only swollen, and that the bruising around her eye would disappear. He also provided some healing salve to speed up the process.

He had offered to test for the possibility of any sexually transmitted diseases but she assured him that nothing had transpired while she was held captive. Part of her wondered if Coriolanus didn't entirely trust her, would he go to such lengths to confirm or deny her claim?

Coriolanus had locked himself away in his study the first day they got back from the trip, goodness knows how much work he would have to do. But he's been acting more...flippant. Asking her how she's doing more often, checking in on her more often, encouraging her to ask the staff for anything she might possibly need. As if she could ever need anything while living with him and his family.

He seems more caring but Soarynn wonders if it's because of the attack or what transpired after. The kiss.

Oh, that kiss has been the bane of her existence. Some of her wishes that she let it go further, that she spent the night in his embrace. But the other half of her is glad she didn't give in to her desires. Even though she really wanted to.

He had come up to her the following day with specific instructions that she could not under any circumstances leave the property with or without the children until he said so. Soarynn had been a bit put off by that order but he explained that no one could see her in this injured state, and he wasn't too keen on letting his children out of his sight at the moment. So, they stayed inside, they could go out onto the grounds so long as they didn't go beyond the fence. It's not like they could with the heightened Peacekeeper presence surrounding the Mansion.

The Snows were on high alert.

Soarynn had asked Eudora if they'd still be throwing the end-of-the-year party and Eudora confirmed that the party was still on as far as she knew. Soarynn hoped it would stay that way, the girls were so excited about it.

"Look Soarynn! I made a snow angel and I'm a Snow!"

Soarynn walks over to Ceraphina who's sitting in the snow, not a care in the world as to how cold it is outside right now. It had taken quite a bit of convincing to get the girls to wear coats, hats, and gloves before they braved the cold but Soarynn insisted that they wear the gloves. Caspian had already thrown his off, he hated the things and Soarynn had given up on making him wear them about an hour ago.

"What a beautiful angel," Soarynn says, giving Ceraphina a nod of approval. Celeste runs between the two of them, her pink scarf flying behind her like a cape. Celeste had insisted on wearing her favorite pink scarf as well, claiming that it was the "perfect accessory."

"There's Daddy," she points, looking up at the large windows overlooking the grounds.

Soarynn looks up as well, her heart beats a little faster when she spots Coriolanus looking down on them. "Wave to your father Cas," Soarynn says, lifting one of Caspian's little arms. Caspian mumbles something about Lenny who was not allowed to come to play in the snow for fear of him getting dirty and buries his head in her neck. Soarynn chuckles, pressing a kiss to his head, "You'll see Lenny soon when you take your nap."

She looks back up at Coriolanus one more time, offering him a wave this time, and to her surprise, he returns it. Another man joins him after a moment, Quintus Heavensbee from the looks of it and he also waves which is a big hit with the girls who gasp and also start waving. "Daddy can see us!" Celeste says, running up to Soarynn and clinging to her leg.

Soarynn nods, tearing her gaze away from the most conflicting man she's ever met to focus on his darling daughter, "He certainly can," she agrees, "and you look so stylish in your winter coat."

Both girls wore light pink coats today to match their hats while Soarynn dressed Caspian in a dark red coat, very similar to one that his father often wears when addressing the nation outside. Soarynn went with a cream-colored coat today, a brave choice while watching three children but she felt it made her look sophisticated. She'd taken off her gloves to hold Caspian better but she was beginning to regret her decision.

If only Caspian enjoyed the snow more. He liked it for about...two minutes. Then he was tugging at her pant leg, asking to be held which she happily obliged to. "Can we go inside can we have hot chocolate?" Ceraphina's question causes Soarynn's stomach to grumble in agreement, "Yes," she answers, "hot chocolate sounds delightful." It really does and then she could put Caspian down for a nap right after.

She had worried that the attack might've had severe psychological effects on the children but they glazed right over it. After losing their mother, perhaps nothing phased them anymore.

It certainly affected her but she was doing a good job at pretending like it didn't.

And she'd keep acting that way until she forgot how it felt to be thrown around, treated like she was nothing. She knew she wasn't nothing, she was just the nanny.

꧁ ꧂

"Does it hurt when I press down?"

Soarynn looks up at the ceiling while the doctor applies a slight pressure to her nose, it doesn't hurt anymore which is a relief. She had worried that her injury might have led to something more severe like a ruptured sinus or a disfigured nose.

"No, it doesn't," she answers.

The doctor hums, pulling his hand away from her face, "Good, it's almost back to normal. By the end of the week, you'll be good as new." Soarynn forces a polite smile onto her lips, fighting the urge to ask if he can prescribe anything to fix the damage that has been done to her on the inside, not the outside.

"Now, let's check on your eye. You haven't been experiencing any vision problems since I last saw you correct?" Soarynn shakes her head while carding a hand through her hair, "No, my vision hasn't been affected by the bruising."

The doctor pulls a tool out of his bag that shines a bright light on her face, "Keep your eye open," he instructs, "I just want to make sure the cornea is still intact." Soarynn has no idea what any of that means but she does as she's told and holds still, even though she can feel her eye beginning to water from the bright light.

Finally, he pulls away from her face and she lets out a breath of relief, "All is well then?" She asks, watching him pack up his things after scribbling down some notes. She wonders if he gives these reports to Coriolanus. He probably does. Nothing happens under his roof without him knowing about it.

"Yes," he confirms with a smile, "you seem to be right on track to a healthy recovery. Just remember, if your eye begins to bother you, use a hot and cold compress and have President Snow give me a call."

"Thank you doctor."

Soarynn watches the man walk out of her bedroom, leaving the doors slightly ajar and she falls back onto her bed, sighing loudly. She's been so tired lately, she hasn't been sleeping well since they got back home. She wonders if this might be some sort of post-traumatic disorder. Maybe she should've mentioned it to the doctor, or has he already noticed and told Coriolanus?

She certainly hasn't been slacking when it comes to her job as a nanny but she knows herself well enough to know that eventually, this will all catch up to her.

Maybe she can get some sleep now that the doctor's gone. She already put the children to bed. Sleep sounds good. Her eyes slowly drift shut and she focuses on breathing in and out, in, and out, in and… "Soarynn? Coriolanus wants to speak with you dear."

Soarynn rolls over to her stomach and groans into the mattress before pushing herself back up, "I'm coming," she calls back, not wanting Eudora to come in and find her like this, sulking and moping about. She slides off the bed, hoping she doesn't look as miserable as she feels before yanking open the doors, "Did he say what he wanted to talk to me about?"

Eudora shakes her head, waving for Soarynn to follow her, "I imagine it'll have something to do with the attack," she muses, leading them to the back staircase, "he's been working on interrogating all the Rebels who took you and the children hostage. You might need to identify some of the men who escaped."

Soarynn's mind immediately goes to Marvin who managed to slip off the boat and swim away unscathed. His friends couldn't say the same. But did they catch him?

"Soarynn?"

Soarynn blinks several times, pulled from her frequent thoughts of District Four, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Eudora gives her a concerned look from over her shoulder as they make their way down the hallway, "I asked how everything went with the doctor. Did he say anything?"

Soarynn shakes her head, "No, nothing major to report. My nose and eye should be back to normal by the end of the week."

Eudora lets out a sigh of relief, "Well that's good to hear. It'd be a shame if those brutes managed to mark up your pretty face permanently." Soarynn merely hums in reply, both women coming to a stop in front of the ominous doors that lead to Coriolanus Snow's study.

"I'll be in my room should you need anything," Eudora tells her.

Soarynn nods and watches Eudora walk back down the hallway, she's been staying in her honorary bedroom since the attack, swarmed with paperwork and reports to sort through for Coriolanus.

Soarynn gently knocks on the doors, her gut feels like it's been twisted into a knot. "Come in," he calls from the other side.

Soarynn quietly opens the doors, closing them behind her. It's dark in his study, only the fireplace and a few lamps providing him with light as he works.

She slowly approaches his desk, unsure of how to conduct herself with her boss behind closed doors after the last time they were alone together. Coriolanus remains focused on his work, not even sparing her a glance when she sits down. Soarynn absentmindedly drums her fingers against the armrests of the chair, looking up at the ceiling and the carvings that look down on her.

"Your nose looks better."

Soarynn looks back down and across the desk at Coriolanus who sits back in his chair, pen in hand but his attention is now on her, "And your eye," he adds. Soarynn is now hyperaware of her appearance, she had taken off her makeup per the doctor's request and she had planned on trying to sleep right after he left which means she's barefaced once again.

"The doctor said I should be healed up by the end of the week."

"I know," he answers, his blue eyes scanning her face, "he also said that you haven't been getting enough sleep."

Soarynn tenses in her seat, "I never said I wasn't getting enough sleep."

His lips curl up into a smirk and he tilts his head, looking very handsome while doing so, "You don't need to tell him anything. He's a practiced man and he's been staring into your eye for the past few days, he can tell when someone hasn't been getting enough rest. Not to mention it's clear as day to the rest of us."

Soarynn frowns, she's been doing a good job at acting like everything is fine but maybe she hasn't been doing as good as she thought. "I'm fine," she insists, mimicking his relaxed body language, "Eudora said you might ask me about identifying our kidnappers."

Her attempt to switch topics has its intended effect and he drops his smirk and leans forward, adopting the stern persona she's more than used to dealing with by now. "Yes," he shuffles through some papers on his desk, "we apprehended everyone on the beach that wasn't shot on sight but we need you to confirm a few of these Rebels before we proceed."

He slides a file toward her and Soarynn tentatively reaches for it, opening it up to find Marvin's face staring up at her, "This is Marvin," she murmurs, flipping to the next page, finding the face of the man who was shot while trying to jump off looking up at her as well. "And this man was trying to escape," she brings her fingers up to her mouth, remembering how the blood tasted, "I...I saw him get shot. But he's dead now."

She flips through the remainder of the pages but finds no more familiar faces, "Those are the only two I came in contact with," she tells him, placing the file back on the desk, "what will happen to them?"

Coriolanus folds his hands, "I thought about turning them into Avoxes," Soarynn swallows at the casual threat, "but that was too merciful. They'll be executed along with the rest of the Rebels later this week and we'll televise the aftermath to deter any other Districts from trying anything before the year is up."

She sits back in her chair, he says it so casually as if talking about what they'll have for breakfast tomorrow.

"Do you think I should do something else to punish these men?"

Her eyes widen at his question, Soarynn could never conjure up such a punishment, her mind wouldn't allow it. "They said they wanted you to stop the Hunger Games," she recalls, watching his face carefully, "but I guess you won't be doing that."

Coriolanus shakes his head, "I won't be doing that," he confirms, "it's my job to keep the Hunger Games alive."

What a horrible job to have.

"Okay," she says softly, "I trust you to make the right decision."

They both stare at each other for a moment, blue meeting blue-gray. It's like two different oceans crashing against each other. Sometimes, she feels so close to him, other times, she wonders if they're living on the same planet. They've gotten closer but they're still so far away.

Like December and January, so close yet so far.

"How's Petunia doing?"

Soarynn didn't expect him to ask her that, but it gets her mind off of things and she appreciates that, "She's happy to be back in my presence," she says, remembering how excited Petunia had been when Sejanus dropped her off. The girls had been more excited than Soarynn, hugging and kissing Petunia.

Coriolanus hums, "That's good. The stables are done being built."

Soarynn perks up at the good news, "Oh the children will be so excited."

Soarynn had forgotten all about their little agreement to get the children a horse or two to ride and take care of but it’s sure to be a hit. She wonders if each of the children should have their own horse or if just one would be better suited for them at their age. It would certainly teach them to share better.

While Caspian doesn't mind sharing, his sisters certainly do which is rather ironic since they have everything they could possibly need.

Coriolanus studies her for a moment, his eyes lingering on her lips for far too long, "I thought we might discuss what happened on the train," he finally says. Soarynn's breath hitches in her throat, is this when he fires her again? She definitely put her own feelings before the children's. Maybe that kiss was a test and she miserably failed.

"Oh," is all she has to say, her cheeks burning with shame. Coriolanis sighs, running his fingers through his trussed curls. They always look so pristine at breakfast, perfectly styled for another day of work but by the end of the day, they look softer, he looks softer.

"I think we can both agree that emotions were running high," he says and Soarynn nods, there were a lot of emotions on that train, "and we've been dancing around the most pressing topic since we got back," he continues. Soarynn sits up straighter, preparing herself to be fired once again except this time, he has proof. He was there.

His lips on her lips.

"Are you going to fire me?"

Coriolanus looks taken aback at her question, his eyebrows furrowing, "Fire you?"

Soarynn nods, her head hanging in shame, "I crossed a line," she tells him, "the children are the most important thing to me and I let my emotions rule over my decisions."

Coriolanus looks absolutely dumbfounded, so completely and utterly lost. "Soarynn, I'm not going to fire you." She lifts her head, staring into his gorgeous eyes, he truly is a handsome man. "You're not?"

Coriolanus shakes his head and a small smile grows on his lips, "I think the girls might actually kill me if you left again. And I simply wanted to talk about the change in our dynamic." Now Soarynn is the one who looks confused.

"Our dynamic?" She repeats, puzzled by his words. Their dynamic is crystal clear to her. She's the nanny, he's the President of Panem. Simple enough.

"I haven't kissed another woman since Livia," he admits, scratching the back of his neck, "I haven't even looked at another woman since Livia, and yet the second you stepped foot into this house, I haven't been able to entirely focus on my job."

Looks like we're in the same boat, she thinks but she just nods at him to keep going. Coriolanus sighs, "These things can be tricky, I have an insurmountable amount of pressure on me to always be the perfect leader, the perfect boss, the perfect father, but being the perfect partner is something I've always failed at."

"No one is perfect," she tells him softly, "it's impossible to be perfect. Someone will always feel as though you're not doing enough."

That seems to hit him hard as he leans back in his seat, deep in thought. "I enjoyed it," he finally says, looking across at her, "I enjoyed kissing you, holding you. I enjoy being in your presence even though I can tell that you're always on edge around me." He smirks and Soarynn immediately feels flustered and called out.

"Well, well you're the President," she argues, "and my boss. It's natural for me to have a certain degree of nerves. A healthy fear if you will." His smirk drops and Soarynn's heart along with it. Did she say something wrong?

"I've always said that it's better to be feared than loved," he tells her, "when people love you and you love them, they aren't afraid to push back. If people fear you, then they won't risk any pushback. It's the things we love most that destroy us."

Soarynn knows all about that. She loved her father with all her heart and his death absolutely destroyed her. Coriolanus loves his children with all his heart and people took them away from him, used them as leverage against him. But they used her too, which leads her to wonder how he felt about that.

"I don't want you to fear me Soarynn."

Maybe this attack left scars on him too, only on the inside but scars nonetheless. And maybe she'll be allowed to see them someday.

"You want me to love you?"

A pained look crosses his face, a look she's all too familiar with, the look of remembering what once was, what he used to have with another woman that wasn't her. Livia has left scars all over his body.

"I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone outside of my children," he admits, "but, I do think I'm capable of opening up again."

Soarynn can feel her heart beating so fast. It feels so hot in this room all of a sudden. So suffocating.

"Okay," is all she says.

Coriolanus holds out his hand, beckoning her to come over to him, "Come here," he says, calmly and quietly. Soarynn is shaking as she pushes herself from her chair. This is so different from the train. Their dynamic is different. She's dressed differently.

Still, she walks around the desk.

She's never been on this side of his desk but she bets he feels so powerful sitting behind it. He looks powerful now, with his shirt slightly unbuttoned and his legs spread as he turns to face her. She places her hand in his and he wraps his fingers around it, gently pulling her towards him until she's standing in between his legs.

Coriolanus takes his other hand and rests it on her bare thigh, causing Soarynn to draw in a shaky breath. She's never done any of this. Will he teach her or will he expected her to know how things are done in the bedroom? They're not even in a bedroom right now. They're in his study like she's some sweet little secret he doesn't want to get out.

His hand slides up further and further under her nightgown and stops when he reaches her inner thigh, inches away from her covered core. He looks up at her with those blue eyes, clouded with lust and desire. He tugs her forward and she gasps, within one swift motion, she's seated in his lap, essentially straddling him.

His lips are crashing against hers within seconds.

Coriolanus slides both hands under her nightgown, grabbing her waist and he groans. Soarynn whimpers when his teeth gently tug at her bottom lip, this is all so new to her, so new and overwhelming. He is overwhelming. All she can smell is roses.

She doesn't know what to do with her hands so she rests them on his broad shoulders, he feels so strong.

One of his hands slides down her back, resting on her ass and squeezing it. Soarynn moans into the kiss, and goosebumps cover her skin. He pulls away from the kiss only to start kissing up and down her jaw, pressing kisses on her neck as well. Soarynn sighs, staring up at the ceiling again, wondering if this is how all their encounters will go from now on. Secret and rushed.

His other hand leaves her waist, sliding out from under her nightgown to grab her throat. He applies a slight pressure to the sides of her neck and Soarynn gasps, her head feels hazy, her breaths are shortened and she's panicking.

She's remembering.

Remembering what those men said about her. How good she'd feel. How she's the President's whore.

Whore. Slut. The President's little plaything.

Her vision is growing spotty and his lips are getting more aggressive. Soarynn can feel his fingers sliding under the waistband of her panties. She tries to buck his hand off but he must think that she's into this, into him.

"Good girl," he praises, sucking on the tender skin under her ear.

Soarynn squeezes her eyes shut and uses all the strength in her body to shove him back. "Stop," she gasps, opening her eyes again, "stop, please stop." His hands disappear from her body instantly but she still feels like she's being choked, being touched. Touched by them, by those men who talked about fucking her while she was tied up.

Soarynn gasps for air, tears burn in her eyes.

"Soarynn," he starts, his eyes filled with concern and confusion but she's already shaking her head, already trying to get off of his lap.

Everything is so fuzzy and she ends up falling backward onto the floor. Pain shoots through her body but the adrenaline takes over and she pushes herself onto her feet, "I'm sorry," she whispers, shame flooding her voice, "I...I can't."

She rests a hand on the edge of his desk as she walks around it, ignoring his calls for her. She stumbles towards the doors, opening them and welcoming the fresh air.

"Soarynn," he calls again.

She ignores him.

She ignores everything while walking back down the hallway, a million terrible thoughts racing through her mind. She manages to make it to the back staircase and she leans against the banister for a second, catching her breath.

She can still feel his hands on her body and she hates it.

Soarynn grabs onto the railing and pulls herself onto the stairs, making her way up them at a pathetic rate. When she reaches the top, she's out of breath. She wonders what he's thinking, if he's following her, or if he's really going to fire her now that she's truly lost it.

Tears begin to stream down Soarynn's face but she keeps walking, desperate to go to her room and sleep all of this away. She walks past Ceraphina's room and chokes back a sob, she can't believe she made such a foolish risk like that when the children are her main priority.

How could she be so stupid?

When she finally gets to her own room, she slams the doors closed behind her, sinking down onto the floor. Soarynn pulls her knees up to her chest and allows herself to properly cry. Would this all be different if her father hadn't died? If Livia hadn't died? Are they both watching her run around with the President of Panem like she's living in some delusional fairy tale?

Her entire frame trembles as she cries, her gasps echo throughout her room. She's so tired, so exhausted both mentally and physically. When does it all end? The anxiety, the unknown, the battle between her heart and her head?

A soft purring momentarily distracts her from the world falling apart and she looks up from her spot on the floor to find Petunia staring up at her, those eyes identical to her own filled with unending devotion in a world full of conditions. "Oh Petunia," she whispers, "I ruined everything." More tears threaten to spill down her cheeks but Soarynn forces them back.

Coriolanus was right about one thing.

She's not getting enough sleep and she's exhausted. She knows that the lack of sleep isn't doing her or her emotions any favors. "Let's go to bed," she mumbles, reaching out for her loyal feline. Petunia allows her to scoop her up and Soarynn slowly stands to her feet, more stable now that she's had a proper breakdown. She doesn't even get under the covers, she just flops onto the bed and finally, finally gives into sleep.

꧁ ꧂

When Soarynn wakes up she can hear birds chirping accompanied by the sound of a small person breathing beside her.

She cracks one eye open and finds Celeste watching her intently. "Good morning," she whispers causing Soarynn to smile, she probably looks rough right now but Celeste isn't one to comment on one's outward appearance. That's her sister's specialty.

"Good morning darling," she replies, reaching out to rest a loving hand on her cheek. Celeste leans into her touch and her eyes hold worry and fear, "Daddy said you were sick so you couldn't come to breakfast, are you really sick?" Soarynn swallows, she must've slept through her alarm which means Coriolanus thinks she's avoiding him.

Which she is but that's a hard thing to do in his own house.

At least he came up with a good lie to cover up her absence. She feels bad though, missing breakfast means that either Coriolanus or Eudora had to wake the children up. "I'm not feeling my best," she answers truthfully, sitting up slowly, "but I don't think I'm sick."

Celeste lets out a sigh of relief and nods, "Okay good, I don't want you to get sick like Mommy did."

Soarynn feels her heart break into a million pieces.

She can't imagine the fear and anxiety that the children must deal with whenever the adults in their lives get sick or injured. The slightest cough must send them over the edge and here she is, sleeping through breakfast because she can't handle a bit of intimacy.

Get it together, she chides herself while patting the spot on the bed next to her, "Come sit darling." Celeste smiles at the opportunity to get into someone else's bed and attempts to jump onto the bed but she's still too little so Soarynn swoops her up, making her giggle. "Who woke you up?" Soarynn asks, running a hand through Celeste's curls. She's still dressed in her pajamas which means it's still early in the morning.

Celeste cuddles against her, "Eudora did. Then Daddy let me try some of his coffee but but was so yucky Soarynn." She grins at a very true statement, Soarynn has never been too fond of coffee even though it always smells delicious. Her father would always drink it at breakfast. He'd read the paper while they spent their mornings together, Soarynn preparing for school and her father preparing for work.

She misses those moments.

"At least you tried it," Soarynn tells her, "it's important to try new things." Celeste hums, playing with the hem of Soarynn's nightgown, "Can we go to the park today?" Soarynn wishes they could, the children are beginning to grow stir crazy and she can't really blame them. "Once my eye and nose look better then we can go," she tells Celeste who looks up at her face to assess the damage. "I'm sorry we couldn't help you," she says quietly, her eyes dropping back down.

Soarynn frowns, has Celeste been carrying around this guilt the entire time? And Ceraphina for that matter? Heaven knows what Caspian has been thinking about since they got back home.

Soarynn insistently shakes her head, quick to deter any of these terrible thoughts, "You all were a great help to me, darling. You kept me calm and you helped me when I fell. And most importantly, you listened to me. You all trusted me and I...I," Soarynn feels herself getting choked up but for different reasons this time, "I love you all very much. I can't imagine a world without you children in it."

Celeste's own face reflects the same feeling of endearment, her eyes look so much like his, and yet Soarynn knows exactly where her heart lies.

Coriolanus Snow might be a mystery to her but his children never are.

꧁ ꧂

Later that day, Soarynn finds herself at the Capitol Stables.

This is the last place she expected to be but according to Eudora, Coriolanus wants Soarynn to select the perfect horse for the children. She still hasn't seen Coriolanus since last night but she's perfectly fine with that.

"Did you ever go to the races?" Sejanus Plinth's question pulls her from her faraway thoughts about Coriolanus Snow and back into the present where they're strolling through the Stables, looking at all the horses in their stalls.

"I did," she answers, "my father loved watching the races and I loved the horses." Horse racing is a well-practiced sport in the Capitol, known for its wealthy spectators and expensive bets placed on the horses. During the off-season the Stables are open for people to visit the horses and even purchase one of their own should they choose to do so.

Soarynn has been the arena where the races take place but never the Stables, not until now that is. She didn't know what to expect and since Eudora would be watching the children, she had invited Sejanus to accompany her. She felt safer with someone beside her, and Sejanus had taken such great care of Petunia while they were gone.

Sejanus nods, "They're beautiful creatures," he agrees, "how was District Four by the way?" Soarynn pales a bit at his question, but she recovers smoothly, "It was cold," she answers, "but beautiful. The ocean is a force to be reckoned with."

They stop at one of the stalls where a spotted horse sticks its head out to greet them, "Oh, aren't you a pretty thing?" Soarynn asks, reaching out to scratch its head. They both chuckle when the horse leans out further, just like Petunia asking for pets. "Is there a specific color you're after?" Sejanus asks, resting a hand on its neck. Soarynn purses her lips, she wasn't given any specific instructions as to what to look for but she can imagine that Coriolanus would want something that screams 'The Snow Family.'

"Something white," she decides, giving the horse a pat farewell, "Coriolanus would like that."

Sejanus grins, "First name basis huh?" Her cheeks burn pink as she starts walking again, "You're not funny you know," she says, quickening her pace, "and he insisted that I be on a first-name basis with him." She slows her pace when she comes across a beautiful horse, all white, "Hello there," she greets, gripping the stall door. Sejanus comes up next to her, looking the horse up and down, "I'd say he matches your description, and as for Coriolanus, I'm simply surprised that he insisted. He's been so closed off since Livia."

Soarynn hums, watching the horse slowly walk up to them, its tail flicking behind it, "I know," she murmurs, "and I barely even speak to him as it is. We're both far too busy with our jobs." Lies, lies, lies.

Sejanus looks like he doesn't believe her but she chooses to ignore it. She's been choosing to ignore a lot of things lately.

꧁ ꧂

When Soarynn comes back from the Stables, all three of the Snow children rush to greet her. She must admit, it was nice to leave for a while, see the city again. Eudora had instructed her to apply a liberal amount of makeup to cover up any bruising or swelling and since Sejanus hadn't commented on any of it, she must've done a good job.

"You're back!" Ceraphina says, throwing her arms around Soarynn's legs. Soarynn almost tumbles back but Sejanus prevents that from happening, quickly steadying her, "Where are my hugs huh?" He teases, earning him more excited gasps. The children see Soarynn every day, Sejanus is a rare treat when it comes to visitors.

While Celeste and Ceraphina flock around Sejanus asking him all sorts of questions, Caspian slowly but surely toddles over to Soarynn, holding his hands out for balance. Soarynn grins at the sweet sight, "Come here sweet boy," she croons, bending down to pick him up. She sometimes finds it hard to believe that such a sweet child can exist in a world like this, that evil men had no issue holding up a gun to his head.

It makes her feel even worse about what happened last night.

A week ago she was fearing for her life and now she's having sexual relations with their father. What the hell is wrong with her?

He's probably stressed, she tells herself while watching the girls interact with Sejanus, he just needed to blow off some steam, this'll all blow over by the end of the week.

And it will. She'll work up the courage to talk to Coriolanus about all of this, get their relationship back on a professional track, and move forward.

Simple as that.

"Are you coming to the party Sejanus?" Ceraphina's question reminds Soarynn about the party that they'll be throwing at the end of the year. She's a bit surprised that Coriolanus is still going through with it but at the same time, she understands his need for normalcy and moving forward. If you dwindle in the past for too long, you're bound to be left behind.

And Soarynn refuses to be left behind.

"I am," Sejanus confirms with a nod of his head, "I can't wait to see you two tear it up on the dance floor again." The girls giggle at the memory of the last party they had but it only brings up more sour memories for Soarynn who only remembers how the night ended for her.

She presses a kiss to Caspian's blonde hair, if he hadn't spoken up for her, she might not be in this position right now.

She just doesn't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing.

꧁ ꧂

"Coriolanus, I wanted to discuss what our professional relationship has turned into. We're both adults and I would never want to jeopardize my job for the sake of physical intimacy."

Soarynn nods at her reflection in the mirror, "Just say that and you'll be fine," she mumbles, raking her fingers through her hair. The children are finally asleep and she's getting nervous. She could just go to bed, and pretend nothing happened last night but that would be childish, not to mention highly unprofessional.

As if kissing him while straddling him isn't considered unprofessional.

Still, one must make necessary strides toward things that are important to them. And keeping her job and not abandoning her children is very important to her.

Soarynn takes a few deep breaths before she feels prepared to face him. But it’ll feel like a long walk to his study. That’s fine, she can think about her stupid mentions and their consequences on the way down the hall.

Soarynn quietly opens her doors so she doesn’t somehow wake the children and can’t hide her look of surprise when she sees an Avox waiting outside of her bedroom. The Snows only hire Avoxes to do things such as cleaning and waiting on them so that no private information can be spread.

Soarynn has often shuddered at the thought of losing her tongue. How would she sing and laugh?

She swallows, taking a step back when the placid faced Avox moves towards her, holding out something in their hand. It takes her a moment to realize that it’s a letter. A letter that looks identical to the one she had waiting for her in her closet when she first moved in.

Soarynn takes the letter.

“Thank you,” she says quietly, only getting a silent nod in reply. Well, she can’t expect much.

She closes the doors behind her, the original mission long forgotten as she tears open the letter, breaking the seal with a rose embossed on it.

Her fingers shake as she unfolds the perfectly folded paper.

Soarynn, You won’t find me in my study tonight, some work-related issues have been brought to my attention and as you know, I intend to solve every problem sent my way. As for the growing problem between us, allow me to offer my deepest apologies for any pain I might have caused you. If I moved too fast or hurt you in any way please know that was never my intention. Despite the internal struggles within our complex relationship, I still find myself drawn to you like a moth to a flame. You’ll find me to be a terribly possessive man who doesn’t back down from a fight easily. Whenever you’re ready, I trust you’ll know where to find me. Until then, sleep well and look after my children for me. Yours truly, Coriolanus

Soarynn nearly crumples the letter in her hands. How is it possible for a man to make her feel so many things at once?

He knows what he’s doing, she’ll give him that. But why her? There’s a part of her that still worries this might just be a ploy to get into her pants. The other part, the optimistic part, thinks and hopes that this might be more. That Coriolanus might see her as an equal, as someone to cherish and spend time with.

She just wishes she could figure out which one she’d prefer.

But after reading that letter, it seems she has no choice but to play his little game. It’s fine, she tells herself, thinking about those men who were so easily sniped from the shore, those men whose lives were so easily discarded by Coriolanus.

There are much worse games to play.

| Part 8. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

꧁| tag list: @lovelylove268 @strawberriicakes @kickmybark @iswearicanfixhim @wonderlandbound111 @melodyoflovee @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead |꧂

[strangerfandomfiascos]

Is there anyone from the Narnia fandom who would be happy to do a beta read for me in a few days time? ❤️🌲🔦✨️ It's only a oneshot and probably won't be more than 2000 words :)

[pevensiegiigi]

Ao3: An ordinary day between Rilian and Caspian

Rilian loves the little moments his father has to dedicate to him and tell him about Narnia.

[skelemira]

Hey guys!! So I made my first foray out of undertale writing (I still will do undertale writing and commissions/requests, but I have a new current hyperfixation lol) and wrote a oneshot for Just Roll With It!!! (For anyone unfamiliar, it's a DND podcast run by Charlie Slimecicle, Grizzlyplays, Condifiction, and Bizly! It is such a good freaking podcast please go listen to it)

I got inspired by a friend to write this particular oneshot, and it's about Edyn Tidestrider flirting with Jay Ferin! It's very fluffy and very VERY gay so have fun and I hope you enjoy!

[imagineanime2022]

The Variable

Caspian Keyes X GN!Reader

Word Count: 2240

Requested: Anon

Request: literally anything involving caspian idc ill read anything i just need SOMETHING WITH HIM

Warning: neglectful non existent parents, spoilers for pantheon so please watch the show if you plan to before reading this!!

A/N: I can definitely write a part 2 continuing through the series, it was just getting supper long, I got carried away.

Logorhythms had not expected you to be a problem, when you were young they expected you to grow apart having you in a part of his childhood that he was unlikely to remember would be fine but even as you started to get older you never seemed to grow apart. They had tried paying off your parents but that resulted in them running off with the money and leaving you to fend for yourself. They had then thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to have you moved halfway across the country to be placed in foster care but even they didn’t have the power for that without telling the government what they were doing.

You were placed in a care home until the age of 16 where you placed in a apartment with an assisted living allowance, during that time it only seemed to make the friendship stronger, you weren’t afraid of his Dad who on many occasion and tried to scare you away, you never headed his mother’s warnings to leave while you could, for whatever reason you stuck around. You quickly became a problem for them. Stephen never had a friend that he could fall back on. You were ruining everything but there was nothing they could do short of killing you that would get you to leave.

They had decided given your ages that there was one more thing that they could try to get you out of the picture and it came with the hire of a girlfriend, Hannah. That had always been part of the plan but now there was a bonus if she could get you both to have a fight or push you away in some way.

The day that Hannah joined the school was when you started to see that things were changing, you had been leaning against the lockers next to Caspians as he grabbed everything that he needed for the next lesson, you watched as the new girl was shown around the school. “Oh hi.” She waved eyes not moving from Caspian. “Oh no.” Nicole said as she looked between the two of you. “That’s Casper the unfriendly goth and his guard dog.” “Caspian.” He introduced himself with the correct name. “Oh like Narnia.” She joked and he nodded. You didn’t listen to what was actually said from there on, you watched her frowning, you wanted to believe that she was genuinely interested in him but your brain immediately asked why someone like her was interested in someone like him having just walked into the school. You were pulled out of your thoughts when he nudged you to start moving. “Oh, Hannah!” She called as she turned back to Nicole. “Like Montana.” He mumbled more to himself. “She seemed cool.” Caspian said as he looked back at her and you raised an eyebrow. “Cool? Is that the new word for pretty?” You asked. “Stop.” He narrowed his eyes at you while nestling his skateboard under his arm as you turned towards the next class. “Alright but ‘like Montana’ really?” You asked. “Shut up.” He couldn’t stop the smile pulling across his face as he pushed you towards the door for the next class.

The next day everything seemed to be normal, you walked into school and met Caspian at the gates. “You won’t believe what I found on that conspiracy site.” He said. “It’s too early for this.” You mumbled rubbing at your eyes trying to get yourself to wake up. “Oh come on!” He pleaded as you opened your locker. “Don’t come on me, I have no parents, the only reason I’m here is you, that should be enough.” You joked, you heard him shuffling before he pulled out your favourite snack. “What did you find?” Though it was framed as a give and take, you would have heard him out either way you’ve never been able to say no to him, not since you’ve been old enough to know what it was like to be in love with your best friend. “Someone thinks the Logorhythms faked their Dad’s death and is holding him hostage.” He explained. “Faked his death?” You asked “where would they be holding him and for what?” “I don’t know I didn’t ask but you remember there was a proposition logical problem and I solved it?” Caspian asked. “Mmm.” You hummed, closing your locker and making your way to his. “The images that they sent, it looks like her Dad is communicating the same way that AngryAngel did.” He explained “so I sent the pictures to them.” “And?” You asked. “Well nothing yet.” He answered. “Yes if you get kidnapped and imprisoned by some tech company, I will storm the building to get you back.” You dramatically declared and he rolled his eyes. “Not what I was asking.” He rolled his eyes. “Alright so what are you asking?” You asked. “What do you think?” He asked. “I think that it’s very unlikely.” You answered honestly. “But let’s be honest nothing is completely impossible… How was last night? You text and said your Dad was home.” “Ehh.” He shrugged “he ate and then he left.” “Mhm.” You hummed. “Don’t worry about it.” He dismissed your concern as he always did, walking into class, you moved to your assigned seat regrettably halfway across the room from Caspian. “Okay, everyone settle down, yesterday we were talking about Orlando’s love for Rosalind and it represents just one of the many types of love Shakespeare highlights in the play. For the next phase of our analysis, we’re going to break into groups of two, so everyone find a partner.” Your teacher said. “Guess it’s you and me.” You glanced up at a boy you recognised from class not that you cared to even know his name. “Why?” You asked. “She wants some time with your boy, without his guard dog around.” He smirked, jutting his head towards Hannah talking to Caspian, she’d pulled over a table and they seemed to be well into their discussion. “So can I sit or…” “Whatever.” You pulled your feet up into a crossed leg position on the chair leaning forward, ready to do all the work for the project since you were sure that he knew literally nothing.

“Are we still doing that movie night tomorrow?” You asked. “Oh um.” Caspian avoided looking at you and you knew the moment that he started fumbling. “You hanging out with… what’s her face?” You clicked your thumb and middle finger as if trying to remember her name, when in reality all it was doing was running around your head in circles. “Hannah.” He answered. “Don’t do that.” He muttered. “Don’t do what?” You asked. “Stop.” He was a little too smart for the games that normal people played as teens when dancing around their feelings. “Yeah, it’s fine I’ll just watch it on my own.” You finally answered. “Hey maybe we can-” “No it’s fine honestly, have fun.” You waved him off before heading off home.

The next day went as all the others did, when you got home you threw your bag onto the chair in the living room deciding to get changed and eat something before sitting down to finish the rest of the project that needed handing in. You were about an hour in before there was a knock on the door, you frowned as you opened the door to Caspian “I thought you were supposed to be with Hannah.” You said. “My parents scared her off.” He answered. “Your dad was home?” You asked. “Pushed my mum.” He answered. “She’s okay?” You asked. “Yeah.” He nodded. “And you're okay?” You moved out of the way allowing him into the house. “Yeah, he didn’t touch me.” He answered walking in. “Wait I thought you were watching that movie, it looks like your doing the project.” “Well my partner has no intention of working with me.” You explained as you walked towards the sofa where everything was spread out. “Oh yeah.” He nodded. “Look I’m-” “Don’t apologise for making other friends, just please be careful, there’s something going on here, I don’t know what it is but there is something going on.” You explained. “Is it so hard to believe that she might just be interested in me?” Caspian asked. “No it’s not, trust me it’s not but I don’t trust her.” You shrugged. “So you're jealous?” He asked. “Excuse me?” You asked. “You know you’ve had a rough evening, I’m not going to make it any worse but when you're ready to talk to me, you let me know.” You said picking up your laptop to continue with your work, he stood there for a second before disappearing out the door, your eyes cast down to your hands as you fought tears.

Over the next few days you only grew apart, your life became very monotonous, you went to school, you went home. You didn’t have any other friends so there was no one else to hang out with, instead you watched and rewatched old shows and movies. Caspian seemed happy with Hannah and you hated yourself for being angry about it, it wasn’t about you, he should be happy and you should be happy for him. You had for a long time wished that it might be you that made him that happy but it seemed like it was just not in the cards.

One afternoon you came home from school, everything seemed normal at first, that is until you walked into the living room to find Caspian hunched over your demolished laptop “I hope you're upgrading that as part of an apology.” You decided not to start a fight immediately. “Are you one of them?” He asked. “Excuse me?” You asked. “Answer the question.” He ordered, standing from where he was sitting in front of. “I don’t know what you're talking about Cas.” You answered honestly. “What’s this about, did something happen?” He looked at you for a second before looking back at your laptop. “I found these in my computer and my phone.” He explained holding up 2 small chips, you stepped closer looking at the little chip that said Logorhythms in small letters. “Okay so why did you think I had something to do with that, I still need you to sort out my tech problems.” You reminded him as you looked at the laptop in pieces on the table. “I went looking for my mum after I found this, I found her at the Civic Centre with Hannah.” He explained. “They were talking about me… About what I talked to her about.” “What you talked to Hannah about?” You asked. “Mhm.” He hummed. “So you thought that I was working with them too?” You asked. “I didn’t know what to trust.” He answered. “Well why don’t you talk to Hannah about it?” You asked. “Your mum’s not going to tell you anything but she might, especially if she’s new to all this.” “Why are you helping me, after everything that happened?” He asked. “Cas I’m not your enemy, never have been. I am, however, going to be real mad at you if you can’t fix that.” You informed him, jutting your head towards the laptop. “I can fix that.” He promised “Look I’m sorry about everything, you were right and I didn’t listen to you.” “No it’s fine I sounded like a jealous best friend, who-” You stopped yourself from talking realising that you almost outed yourself. “Who what?” He asked, he was a little too sharp for his own good and you knew that he was not going to let it go. “Don’t you have to meet up with Hannah, find out what’s going on?” You asked. “Who what?” He asked, stepping forward causing you to step back. “Can you maybe not make me say it?” You asked. “I need you to say it.” He almost pleaded, his hand coming up to rest on your cheek, thumb gently running back and forth. “Do you know what ‘it’ is?” You asked. “I have an idea.” He was so close now, you had to look up to make eye contact and his other hand had come to rest on the back of your head keeping you in place. “I’d really like to be more than friends.” You finally said and what you saw was the realist smile you had seen in a long time. “More than friends?” He asked. “Don’t make-” You were cut off by him pressing his lips to yours in an almost bruising kiss one hand dropping to your waist to keep you close. “Cas we have to find out what’s going on.” You reminded him between kisses as you tried to get him to pull back. “I will, I’ll talk to her tomorrow, I still need to fix your laptop.” He said dismissively, leaning back in. “Alright.” You pulled away placing your hand over his mouth, you could feel him smirking “you're very good at that.” “At kissing?” He asked, eyebrows raised, his voice muffled and you rolled your eyes. “You need to end things with Hannah and you need to fix that laptop, the rest is up to you.” You informed him as he pulled your hand from his mouth. “I’ll talk to Hannah tomorrow, I’ll fix your laptop tonight.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Happy?” “Happy.” You nodded.

Request Here!!

[heliads]

Narnia Masterlist

Prince Caspian

My Prince - Based on this request: "Reader and Caspian with a sort of rivals to friends to lovers. Transition from "My prince" (Sarcastic) to "My prince" (joking) to "MY prince" (loving)." Imagine

Lucy Pevensie

A Question of Acceptance - Based on this request: "lucy introduces her girlfriend to her family while they're still kings and queens but they're both scared that the pevensies won't be accepting?" Imagine

Peter Pevensie Masterlist

[padfootagain]

Book Lovers

Here I am with a new fanfic for my Comeback event! This was requested by @jackys-stuff-blog : “Hey Carole, welcome back sweetheart 😊 I saw your event and can I send something in too? So uhm, can I request a library au where the reader is a librarian in Cair Paravel and they have a crush on prince/king Caspian who visits the library very often (either he is doing researches or just to read books in his free time 🙈), please? Thank you 😊 (Just if you want to write it 🙈)”

This is such a cute requests jfnjneuonrune I love it!!

I hope you like what I’ve written for you here! Thank you for sending this request!

****

Pairing: Caspian x reader

Warnings: so much fluff your heart might actually melt. Bonus: a very shy Caspian.

Summary: Caspian falls head over heels for the librarian in Cair Paravel.

Word Count: 2997

You liked humming while you worked.

Whenever the library of Cair Paravel was empty, you liked filling up the empty space with a soft humming sound; a quiet one, barely audible, but that felt merry all the same.

You picked up another book, checking the title engraved in golden letters on the leathery cover, and put it on its designated right spot on the shelf. You breathed deeply the sent of parchment, leather and ink. The safest fragrance there was. Your favourite.

It was a sunny dawn, bathing the beginning of spring with warmth. You could hear some birds chirping happily outside, and the sound brought a smile to your face. You liked that time of the year; when the mornings were still cold and shy but the afternoons were warm enough to let the first flowers bloom. For now, the first rays of sunshine were waking up Narnia and all its inhabitants.

It was early still, and yet you expected for the King to arrive any minute now. It had become a habit of his, really. Whenever he was in Cair Paravel, he took an hour in the morning to come to the library to do some research about history, geography, about old myths or about the kingdoms around Narnia. Sometimes he asked for a precise book, sometimes for a general topic, but he always asked you something. It was the same scene playing over and over again: Caspian passed the wooden doors with a warm smile on his lips, looked around for a while, then came to talk with you for a while, before you would guide him to the right books or maps and he would remain there for a while longer. But then, it would be the end of dawn and the beginning of bright daylight, and he would give you another one of his warm smiles, a polite nod to silently thank you for your help, and he would stride out of the library to attend his first meeting of the day.

And you would look at him walk across the room, longing to brush this rebellious strand of hair that always escaped his bun behind his ear. You would send him your brightest grin while you bowed as he would send one last shy smile your way before closing the doors behind him, and you would pray Aslan for him not to notice the way your breathing had quickened at the sight of his soft gesture, and for him to remain oblivious of how fast your heart was beating. You would stare at the door for long minutes, looking at the space, now empty, that he used to occupy.

And you would do your best to hide that you were deeply, unconditionally, desperately, irrevocably, madly… in love with him.

It was almost comical, really. The keeper of knowledge in Cair Paravel was foolish enough to fall in love with the King. The most unreachable man there was in the entire kingdom. The only man you had absolutely no chance of being with. Comical, really…

Speaking of the devil…

You heard the wooden door open, it made a creaking noise whenever it turned on its hinges. You were thankful for the signal, as it allowed you to climb down the ladder you were perched on, before putting down the book in your hand and heading towards the door to welcome the King. He was wearing a large brown shirt and a pair of leathery pants with high brown boots. He had left the first buttons of his shirt undone, and his hair was loose, falling gracefully on each side of his face to reach his shoulders.

Aslan, he was so handsome…

He offered you this smile of his, the one you were expecting, the warm and soft kind…

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“Good morning, Your Majesty,” you answered, bowing before him.

You finally noticed that he was holding a couple of books, probably the ones he had borrowed from your library the week before. But instead of giving them back to you so you could put them away, He kept on staring at you for a while, his smile a little smaller on his face as it turned into a dreamy expression.

You were so beautiful like this, bathed in the reddened light of the young dawn that came in from the large windows. He stared as you bit your lip, an apparent sign of your nervousness. He noticed the way you joined your hands in your back. He noticed the way your eyes seemed almost afraid of him. Or… not quite afraid, no… Intimated, perhaps. Yes, that was closer to this look in your eyes. Still, your gaze was inviting, as if… as if you couldn’t help but stare at him too. As if you wanted to look at him, even if you weren’t supposed to…

He finally shook himself, realizing that he had been staring at you for way too long. He cleared his throat, looking at the tip of his brown boots to hide the way he was fiercely blushing.

“I… I will simply… I might need your help later, if you don’t mind.”

Caspian silently cursed himself for stuttering like a damn fool…

“Of course! Anything you need, Your Majesty.”

He nodded, still not looking at you, before striding to the closest shelf to hide there.

He made sure you could not see him and rested his back against the rows of books, throwing his head back and letting out a long sigh as silently as he could.

His heart was pounding. He needed to calm down.

It was always the same. He came here to see you every morning, and there you were… It was always the same scene repeating itself over and over again: he would walk in to find you hurrying towards him. He would stare at your welcoming grin as you bowed before him. And he would study how dawn painted your frame this time, how it would embrace your form and paint your skin in a slightly different shade than the day before, thanks to the everchanging qualities of light… And he would find himself at a loss for words, and would have to flee before making a fool of himself. He would need some time to gather his courage again before being able to talk to you once more. And then… then he would talk with you and he would listen to your soothing voice, glancing over at your hand every once in a while, wondering how your skin would feel against his… He would pretend to be in need of your services as the Royal Librarian, when really, he simply wanted to see you. And then, after running out of excuses to stay a little longer, he would finally take his leave, walking out of the room to attend his first meeting of the day. He could never stop himself from looking at you one last time before closing the heavy doors though.

And all the while, during his entire stay at the library, he had to manage to hide the fact that he was completely, entirely, absolutely, eternally, hopelessly… in love with you.

But all of this was about to change. Because Caspian had taken a decision.

This habit of his to come early every morning to see you, under the pretence of looking for books, had been going on for months now, and it was more than time for him to finally be brave enough to tell you the truth.

He didn’t come to the library for the books it sheltered at all, but because of the pretty librarian who worked there…

But this charade had been going on for long enough. It was time for him to be brave, and to finally tell you how he felt.

Or well… not… everything, because then he would probably scare you away. But he did intend to make it clear that he wanted to court you.

Caspian tightened his hold on his books, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm his nerves. Outside, birds were chirping happily, and he took it as a good omen. If the world was happy and bright outside, why couldn’t it be the same in this library now?

At last, he walked away from the bookshelves again, and went looking for you. He forced himself to keep moving forward when he finally spotted you, making piles of books on a large wooden table, so it would be easier to organize them and put them away.

You were focused on your task, and jumped when you finally noticed Caspian approaching.

“I am sorry, Y/N. I did not mean to scare you.”

“No, it’s me… I was lost in thought.”

You exchanged a timid smile, before Caspian would hand you the books he was still tightly holding.

“Thank you for your recommendations,” he spoke with a warm, calm voice that soothed you and yet made butterflies flutter in your stomach. “These were… interesting books.”

“Did you enjoy them?”

“I did. Very much so. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Your Majesty.”

You took the books, eyes glued on his dark stare. His eyes were so brown, they looked black in the early light, and you couldn’t distinguish where his irises began and where his pupils ended. And you couldn’t find the strength to look away…

“I…”

But Caspian fell silent, and all that remained was a motionless silence bathed in orange light. The sky was turning from red to gold slowly, shades mingling, hues changing into lighter ones. You could barely breathe, didn’t dare to move. There was an expectancy hovering above the two of you, covering your frames with a heavy blanket that seemed to impend your movements and thoughts alike. Impossible to think, to react… you could only wait for Caspian to speak again.

But he opened his mouth once more and failed to summon his voice, blushing hard. He couldn’t look away. He was trapped inside your gaze and there was nothing he could do. Nor move, nor speak, nor think. It was just you bathed in this morning light…

Finally, you gathered enough strength to speak, even though your voice was shaky.

“Do you need anything, Your Majesty? Can I help you?”

The sound of your voice seemed enough to shake him out of his trance and he cleared his throat, straightening his posture. He clenched his fists.

“I… Actually, I do not require your services as a librarian this morning.”

“Oh… very well…” you mumbled, quite taken aback.

“I… I came here to… ask you if you would wish to… perhaps… take a walk with me, this morning.”

Your eyes grew round. It was only then that you seemed to notice how nervous Caspian truly was. Which was unusual for him. After all, he was King. He was used to giving speeches in front of hundreds of people, to deal calmly with the most desperate situations, to take decisions that would set the destiny of thousands…

And yet, there he was now… looking nervous and fragile in front of… you.

Why would he be nervous?

“Did I… did I do something wrong, Your Majesty?” you asked, suddenly terrified. “Am I… Are you going to throw me out of the castle?”

Because there was no other explanation, really. You couldn’t see any, at least. You knew he was kind-hearted, and if you had done something wrong, that required him to send you away, then he might feel guilty about it; hence the nervousness.

But he frowned hard in response, looking at you as if you were mad.

“What? No… no of course not. You… you have done nothing wrong, Y/N.”

“Oh… Then… I do not understand…”

He cleared his throat again, nodding slowly.

He took a step towards you, getting closer, and his heart skipped a beat at your sudden nearness.

“I would like to take a walk with you in the gardens this morning, Y/N,” Caspian repeated. “Would you like that?”

“I… but why?”

He let out a breathy chuckle, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

He reckoned there was no other way to go around all this but by speaking plainly…

He looked at you again, his gaze soft and loving.

“I would like to spend time with you. And… not as a King requiring the services of his Royal Librarian but as… you and me. Just you and me. Because… I would like to know you better. And I would like you to know me better, too.”

You stared at him in silence, suspended to his words because… surely, he couldn’t be meaning that…

You were a librarian and he was a king… you couldn’t be together. How could he ever fall in love with you?

Before your silence, Caspian guessed that he needed to be even more direct, and so he was.

“I would like to court you, Y/N.”

You blinked a couple of times.

“Court me?” you repeated, unable to fathom what his words truly implied.

“Yes. I would like to court you.”

“Oh…”

You shook yourself, summoning the strength and the focus necessary to think. You shook your head, frowning.

Caspian could feel his heart breaking in his chest…

“Of course, if you do not feel the same, then… we can always forget that this conversation happened, and we will go back to being only a king and his royal librarian…”

“But you… you are a king.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I… am quite aware of that fact,” he smiled, quite amused despite the circumstances.

“And I’m the Royal Librarian.”

“Again, I am well aware of this fact.”

“We… I am not a princess or a… a noble woman of any kind.”

He frowned hard.

“I do not care about that.”

“You should. You should marry someone of your… rank.”

You noticed the way Caspian clenched his jaw, lowering his gaze to the ground again. Slowly, he nodded.

“I would like you to answer very earnestly my next question, Y/N. Could you do that?”

“Of course.”

“Are you saying no because I am a King? Or because you feel nothing for me at all?”

He looked up once more to capture your stare in his. You swallowed hard, your palms clammy.

“Please, do not lie about this. Give me an earnest answer,” insisted Caspian.

You should have lied though. Because it was ridiculous to admit to the King that you had feelings for him. Still, you were lost in this pair of black eyes you adored, and you couldn’t tell anything but the truth.

“I am not saying no. But you are King. And I am simply a librarian.”

“If I were not the King… would you say yes? Would you let me court you?”

You took a sharp inhale, before diving…

“Yes, I would let you court me.”

Slowly, a grin spread across his handsome features. You found yourself wondering what it would feel like to run your fingers through his short beard…

“Then, please… take a walk with me.”

“But…”

“I do not care about your rank, nor do I care about mine. I only care about the way I feel for you. And… I feel… a lot for you.”

You only noticed that you had stopped breathing once your lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen.

“I have… felt this way for quite a while, to be honest,” he admitted, his cheeks and ears now crimson.

At last, you started breathing again, and it was your time to paint a bright grin on the curve of your lips.

“I feel this way as well,” you confessed in a mere whisper. “But I did not think that my feelings were reciprocated.”

His grin turned amused.

“Why do you think I spend all my mornings here?” he questioned in a quiet tone that matched perfectly yours, a soft whisper that fitted confessions.

Your grin doubled in size.

“Really? You came to see me?”

Caspian nodded, his hand slowly raising to your face so he could let his fingertips brush the edge of your jawline, then up to your cheek and cheekbone…

You could barely breathe all over again. In their wakes, his fingers left your skin on fire…

“I… I merely wanted to see you every day, that is all.”

“I… I hoped every morning that you would come… that I could see you…”

He cradled your cheek in his large, callous palm, fingertips lost now in your hair...

You saw his lips getting closer to yours, as if he was falling towards you, diving towards your mouth…

“There is one last thing that I would like to ask you,” whispered Caspian, his lips now mere centimetres from yours.

“Anything…”

“Please, don’t call me ‘Majesty’ anymore. Call me ‘Caspian’. Please… please say my name…”

You could feel his breath fanning across your lips, the air leaving your lungs colliding with the air escaping from his…

You closed your eyes, your hands reaching up to hold onto his shirt.

“Caspian…”

He reckoned he had never heard his name spoken so softly, so beautifully, so lovingly…

Before you could speak again, Caspian had closed the gap between your two mouths, and was pressing a tender kiss to your lips. You were certain you were dreaming, although, when you felt your knees weakening and Caspian wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer, you couldn’t deny that this was real.

You were kissing Caspian…

You were not certain about when one of your hands left his shirt to mess with his hair instead, but when your lips finally parted, your fingers were lost in his soft strands.

You were both breathless and slightly shaking.

You opened your eyes again, only to fall imprisoned in his gaze once more.

“So… what about we take a walk in the gardens now?” Caspian repeated his offer, a grin stuck on his lips.

You mirrored his happy gesture, nodding.

“It sounds lovely, indeed…”

[simp2537]

Masterlist

🔥-Smut 🧨-Angst

🩹-Hurt/Comfort 🧸-Fluff

🫶🏻-Yandere

🗝️-Dark/Darkish Aleksander Morozova

Series

Moon Helios: Y/n Starkov a legendary warrior, fierce protecter and monster. Bred and broken in servitude to her saint. She knows nothing but her mission in life. To live, and die at her saint’s command. Aleksander Morozova the most powerful of the grisha, a monster. A general who has been fighting alone for hundreds of years. She hates him, he needs her. 🔥🧨🩹🧸🗝️

Series trigger warnings: Child abuse, anxiety, religious trauma, racism, manipulation, division of canon, Alina hate?, trauma, ptsd, bullying, insomnia, self-neglect, mental health issues, guilt tripping, cult theme, blood consumption, cannibalism?? Lost of murder, talks of SA in other characters, Sexual acts, future smut, predatory behavior(not from Aleks) and all other shadow and bone stuff

Act I : Face Claims Act l : Prologue Act l : The academy Act I : Burn Marks Act I : Where’s my epic background music Act I : Necklace for a Lifetime Act I : The Motherland Act I : A Helios is Born

Series Blurs

I Have a Dream

Oneshots

Marking (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader) 🔥 Touch her and die (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader) 🩹🧨 Scars (Aleksander Morozova x wife reader)🧨🩹 Tension (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader)🔥

Harry Potter

Series

N/a

Oneshots

A Miracle (Mattheo Riddle x pregnant!reader) 🩹 A Fathers love (Matthe Riddle x wife!reader)🩹🧸🧨 Reunion (King!Siris Black x fem!reader)🩹🧸

John Wick

Series

Pupllis: She was a weapon from birth. Born and bred to kill for the high table. John Wick a legendary assassin who knew more fame than any. She was a gift to him, he didn’t want to keep her. As there time together passes and they learn to care for one anyone the High Table comes for them. platonic! John wick x child!fem! Reader.🩹🧨🔥🗝️🧸 (Smut is not with John but future Oc)

Chapters One

Oneshots

N/a

My Hero Academia

Series

The Final Alice: Aizawa never wanted to be a father but that plan was thrown away when he found a girl during a mission. This girl was like no child he’d ever seen before. As she grew her power and background remained a mystery. How will her life turn when she meets a charming red head with sharp teeth and an explosive blonde. platonic!Aizawa x daughter!reader, KiriBaku x fem!reader.🧨🩹🔥🧸

Help Pick A Hero Name Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter EightChapter Nine Chapter Ten

Oneshots

N/a

Narnia

Series

From the Stars : A star fairy and the prince of the kingdom that destroyed hers. What could happen? Prince Caspian x fem!reader🧨🧨🧨🔥🩹

Sneak Peak

Oneshots

Yandere Prince Caspian x reader headcannons🫶🏻 Something New (King Caspian x wife reader) 🔥

Percy Jackson

Series

N/a

Oneshots

Runaway (Percy Jackson x gn!reader)🧨🧨🩹🫶🏻🗝️ Misery is the Truest way of Love (Yandere Pereabeth x gn!reader)🫶🏻🧨🗝️ Lovers Quarrel (Pereabeth x gn!reader)🧨🩹 Stage Lovers (Yandere Perceabth x male!reader) 🧨🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🗝️

Blurs

Bottom Percy 🔥

Winx Club

Series

Fairy of Monsters : Alastaria the forgotten sister of Bloom. She slowly begins to unravel her true nature, thread by thread. How will she survive the many trials of her life. Sky of Eraklyon x Oc. Dark Winx Club fix.🩹🧨🗝️

Chapters one : Advesperascit  Chapter two : Monochopsis Chapter three : Kalopsia

Oneshots

N/a

The 100

Series

Project SS: It stared as an idea. Take a dying child and infect them with the SS serum. These children would be raised in isolation, to be the future soldiers for the ark, then earth.

Most died out over time.

Not her, Not Y/n Kane. The only child of Marcus Kane and his wife Alice Kane. After her birth, born with a weak heart Alice Kane decided to give her to the scientists that were working on the project.

Forging her husband’s signature upon the document Alice Kane was sentenced to death. The deal though and Y/n Kane became the most deadly of the super soldiers.

When protecting a friend she finds herself in a cell. Then in her way to earth with the rest of the 100. How will her love continue knowing she’s just puppet to be controlled. Will she grow out of such a horrible situation and blossom with the help of her friends and loved ones. Or will she fall so deep into her created identity that there is no hope. Bellamy Blake x fem!reader.🔥🧨🩹🗝️

Sneak Peak Chapter One Chapter Two

Dead Boy Detectives

Series

Scylla: She’s a half-breed mutt and he’s a crow. She was trapped in hell for hundreds of years before she met a teenage ghost who helped her escape. They later met another boy who would soon die and join there friendship. The group created the Dead Boy Detective Agency. Later as their classes become more difficult pieces of her life before her friends is slowly revealed. What should happen when she met and falls deeply and helplessly in love with an enemy crow. 🔥🧨🩹

Sneak peek Cast Chapter One Chapter Two

Oneshots

Poly Crystal Palace x mermaid reader x Niko Sasaki🧸

Request list/Requests are Open

[slaymitchabernathy]

The Nanny

꧁ One Month Later ꧂

Soarynn studies herself in the vanity mirror.

Would her father be proud of the woman she's become?

She's always tried to make him proud but being fired by the President of Panem is a bit of a letdown, a streak on her perfectly clean record. It's truly humbled her. Which is why today, she has an interview.

An interview for a job that has no emotional reasoning, only logic is involved. She's never been a receptionist before but it seems easy enough and if her skills and personality don't land her the job, then her last name certainly will.

"There are certain perks to being a Nightingale," she says to herself, applying a layer of lipstick.

The first few days after being fired as the Snow's nanny were short of horrible. She cried for hours on end, not necessarily because she got her feelings hurt, but because of the children. She didn't think she'd get so attached, but she did, broke every rule in the book by loving them and caring for them as if she were their mother.

Even though he warned her not to.

In fact, President Snow explicitly told her not to do so and she still did.

She could certainly blame Festus Creed, but at the end of the day, it was her own fault. She didn't grow careless, instead, she cared too much and it cost her the children.

A painful lesson to learn.

She turns on her stool to face Petunia who's been lounging on her bed since they both woke up for the day, "How do I look Petunia?" Her fluffy white cat only meows in response, batting a paw in the air. Soarynn allows herself a small smile, reaching over to scratch behind her ears before getting up to get dressed.

She picked out her outfit last night so she didn't run late. A stylish red dress with a straight neckline and a belt that accentuates her waist, and a pair of black heels. Simple yet classy. She chooses a few pieces of gold jewelry to go along with her outfit, earrings, a simple necklace, and perhaps a ring. She studies her small collection of rings that she's gathered over the years and her eyes land on a ring with a rose adorning it.

She'd be lying if she said it didn't hurt to see it.

Roses now hold a very deep, personal meaning to her.

She decides on a simple gold band and just as she's slipping it on, the doorbell rings.

Soarynn frowns, she had arranged for a driver to pick her up but that's not for at least another thirty minutes. Still, she quickly leaves her closet and makes her way out of her room and into the hallway. She glides down the marble staircase, Petunia hot on her heels to also see who's at the door.

Soarynn quickly runs her fingers through her hair, just in case there's a very attractive man on the other side of the doors who was looking for a wife.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

The doorbell rings three more times in a row and Soarynn frowns, whoever is on the other side must be in a terrible hurry. She pulls the doors open and can't stop the shock from spreading across her face when she sees a small finger attached to the doorbell, more importantly, who is attached to that little finger.

Celeste smiles up at her, "Soarynn I rang the doorbell!"

Soarynn is at a loss for words when Celeste and Ceraphina rush in to hug her, talking a mile a minute, her hands resting on their blonde curls like it's second nature. She nods along to everything they say, trying to gain her bearings. Never in her life did she think the Snow girls would be at her house. She looks up for a moment and her heart nearly stops at the sight of President Snow standing on her doorstep, Caspian in his arms.

She knows she was hoping for an attractive man looking for a wife, but this is not exactly what she had in mind.

"Did you miss us?"

That question pulls her out of her daze and she nods, looking back down at the girls, "I've missed so you very much," she whispers, getting a bit emotional.

Ceraphina smiles and her attention is quickly drawn to Petunia who's been watching from a safe distance, "Petunia!" It's a mad dash the moment she speaks, Petunia darting into the living room and the girls chasing after her, giggling up a storm.

Soarynn doesn't even know what to do or say so she simply watches President Snow slowly walk up the steps and give her a nod, "May we come in?"

Soarynn focuses on Caspian who's already reaching out for her, "You might as well," she answers, giving Caspian's hand a squeeze, "Momma," he mumbles and President Snow sighs, "I know Cas, I know." His piercing gaze settles back on Soarynn and she feels a shiver travel down her spine, "I was hoping we could talk."

Soarynn swallows, she can't really say no, not to the President of Panem. "Alright." President Snow looks around the foyer of her home wearily as if memories are flashing through his mind of a time when this house was full of life a laughter.

Now it's filled with death and darkness, much like his own home.

"Perhaps we should have this discussion in the study," he suggests, forging forward and leaving her with no option but to follow him. He seems so sure of himself walking through her house, but he's been here before if she can recall, or he at least knew her parents quite well. Caspian lets out several whimpers and whines, flailing in his father’s arms as he carries them through the house.

He leads them to her father's study, a room she hasn't touched in months. He turns on the light and turns to face her, a bit of an uncomfortable look on his face, "I think he wants you to hold him."

"Yes," is all Caspian says and Soarynn is more than happy to oblige, lifting him from his father's arms and pressing a kiss to his head once he's safely in hers, "Oh, I missed you, sweet boy," she whispers. Caspian lifts his head and she grins when she sees that little smile on his face, "Lenny misses," he mumbles. Soarynn raises her eyebrows, "Lenny misses me too? I've missed him quite a lot as well."

Caspian seems content with her confession and rests his head back on her chest, leaving Soarynn to look back up at his father who's watching them with so much conflict behind his eyes. "Let's sit down," he finally says, rounding her father's desk as if he lives here.

Soarynn doesn't fight it though, she just sits down in the chair across from him, trying to forget what happened the last time they were seated like this.

"I have come..." he starts, his teeth clicking when he shuts his mouth, shaking his head, "I...I have come to apologize to you."

Soarynn raises her eyebrows again, "You have come to apologize?"

He nods, seemingly as surprised as she is, "I have," he confirms, "I was wrong for what I did, although I will not apologize for my reasoning." Soarynn furrows her eyebrows at his contradicting words and before she can say anything he holds his hand up, silencing her, "Let me explain my reasoning first, then you can tell me what a horrible human being I am," he says.

He sounds like he's said that a thousand times, always having to explain how he does things and he probably has. Being President means making hard calls, and tough decisions, and someone is always going to be hurt by them. This time, it was Soarynn.

"When I was alerted about the...incident, my main concern was my children. At the end of the day, their safety is my main priority. Not their happiness, not their upbringing, their safety. When I heard about what had transpired feet away from their rooms, no matter who was at fault, I knew their safety had been at risk and that was reason enough for me to dismiss you."

Soarynn looks back down at Caspian, sound asleep in her arms already. He had witnessed the horrific night, and something could've happened, Festus could've acted out of anger and hurt him or the girls.

"That being said, I cannot afford to act off of emotion. I can not afford to get close to anyone, to let anyone in. Not after Livia. So when I dared to break my rules for a moment, when I allowed you to call me by my name and then within the same breath found out about what happened between you and Festus, I knew what had to be done. I knew that by breaking my own rules, there would be consequences. I didn't however, expect to reap them so soon," he admits, sitting back in the chair, "but I was hurt nonetheless."

Soarynn didn't think President Snow was capable of being hurt, not from what she's seen. But perhaps his children are the one thing, the one way to hurt him. They're the one thing he loves and it's the things we love most that destroy us.

She purses her lips, "I understand," she says slowly, "I don't appreciate how rashly you acted and how you went about dismissing me but I do understand how important your children’s safety is. Their safety is important to me too. I would never do anything to endanger them."

He lets out a bitter laugh, rubbing his temples, "I know," he tells her, "I know you wouldn't and I know that you weren't the one who started the entire thing between you and Festus."

Soarynn's eyes widen at his statement. Where was this logic a month ago?

"I...I had my doubts," he says, "not that I didn't believe Festus but it was hard to picture the timid, quiet Soarynn Nightingale throwing herself all over a man who she didn't seem interested in a few hours ago, still, I had my loyalties and I did act rashly. It was partially due to you leaving immediately after which in my eyes, made you look guilty and it also..."

Soarynn watches him struggle to find the words to say, perhaps he's never uttered them before. "It also made me feel like a fool for letting you in and confiding in you. I thought perhaps I had found someone who genuinely cared about the sanctity of my family, someone whose care went further than the surface, so to have Festus whispering those lies in my ear truly clouded my judgment."

Soarynn blinks once, twice. She was not expecting this. None of this in fact. She was supposed to go to an interview and yet here she is, sitting with the man who fired her and managed to break her heart without even being romantically involved with her.

What a terrifying concept.

"But you know now," she says slowly, not entirely trusting herself to speak, "you know what he did to me?"

President Snow nods, a displeased look on his face, "I do," he confirms, "and I'm sorry you had to go through that, alone and without a job on top of that." Soarynn feels her lip tremble but she remains intact, she is not as breakable as he thinks.

"How do you know he's lying and I'm not?"

President Snow sighs, drumming his fingers on the wooden desk, "After I dramatically fired you, the girls were a mess as you briefly witnessed. They were inconsolable, and they refused to speak to me. This went on for several weeks as you can imagine, the tantrums, the crabiness, the distancing. I've hardly been able to recognize my darling daughters," he mumbles, shaking his head, "and I'm the one to blame. But I invited Festus over a few days ago for a drink, I needed to clear my head after the month I'd endured. Looking for a new nanny has proven to be more difficult than I anticipated. You've set our standards quite high," he tells her, a small twinkle in his eyes.

Soarynn feels herself swell with pride at his comment. To know that she's left a lasting mark, a lasting impression on his family is closure enough. But he continues talking, "I brought Caspian with me," he gestures to his sleeping son, "he hasn't been sleeping well since you left. Screaming, crying, the whole nine yards. The moment he saw Festus I saw something I've never seen in Caspian's eyes."

Soarynn peers down at the sleeping angel in her arms, the sweetest boy who has eyes identical to his father’s. She can't imagine what President Snow saw that frightened him so much.

"What did you see?"

"Hate."

His answer is enough to stun her. Caspian isn't capable of hate, he wouldn't hurt a fly let alone have it in him to hate someone.

President Snow nods as if reading her perplexed mind, "Exactly. He refused to look at Festus for the rest of the night until Festus went to tickle him, trying to cheer him up and Caspian pushed his hand away, another thing that stunned me. Then Festus made a few crude comments about you when I mentioned that your departure might be a reason for Caspian's behavior. I called him out on it but he insisted I was just tired and frustrated. When Festus was leaving, he went to give Caspian a friendly squeeze, he's more than used to it," he says, watching Soarynn nod along to his words.

"And then...and then Caspian said two words, and that was all I needed to hear to know that it wasn't you who came onto Festus, but Festus who came onto you and followed you upstairs while everyone else was down at the party."

Her mouth is dry with anticipation but she manages to speak, "What did he say?"

President Snow focuses his gaze on Caspian, a bit of pride in his eyes, "He pushed Festus away again and said: 'Hurt Momma' and I knew there was no one else on the earth that he could consider to be his mother but you."

Soarynn doesn't realize she's crying until a tear lands on top of Caspian's head, causing him to rouse from his sleep and press a hand on her cheek, "Momma." She looks down into his eyes, a loving smile on her face, "I'm right here darling."

"After that, I pushed Festus into telling the truth. He claimed he was drunk as if that made it any better or excused his actions. Then I remembered seeing the bruise on your wrist. I put the rest of the pieces together before taking care of Festus."

Soarynn looks at him from across the desk, both their eyes holding different emotions, "He...he found me when I was leaving Caspian's room. I bumped the doors open trying to get away and Caspian ended up witnessing the whole thing," she gets out, more tears burning as the memories resurface, "I didn't think he'd remember any of it after I got him back to sleep."

A flash of anger passes through his eyes before they return to normal and he clasps his hands, "I can assure you that Festus will be dealt with thoroughly."

Soarynn doesn’t press to find out what he truly means. As long as she doesn’t have to worry about Festus breaking into her home at night, then it’s none of her concern.

They both sit there for a moment, staring at each other as if neither of them truly knows what to make out of the other. For a second when they were dancing, Soarynn thought she had felt something, witnessed something genuine rather than the usual cold facade she was greeted with.

But he’s closed off now, even in the safety of her own home he’s on guard, protecting himself and his children. She can hear the girls giggling in the other room and a few meows of protest from Petunia who’s most likely tired out and given in to their want to play with her.

“Is this all you came for then?” She asks, her voice steadier than she thought it would be. After all these months, President Snow still has the capability of making her nervous. Even in her father’s study.

He shakes his head, clearing his throat while doing so. “No, I…we,” he gestures to himself and then to Caspian, “have come to ask for you to come back to us.”

Soarynn’s heartbeat rapidly increases at the request, at the chance to go back to being with the children. A small part of her worries about what could lie in the future, she could be fired again, humiliated again. And for something she did not do.

But the larger part of her wants nothing more than to wake up and face the new day with the Snow children by her side. The future might be prosperous for her and she’d be a fool to let it slip through her fingers.

“You want me back?”

President Snow nods, a small smile on his lips, “I will not lie and say that the past month has been easy. Eudora has taken on the brunt of caring for the children but she can’t do two things at once forever and there’s no one in this world who can care for them the way you do. The girls won’t accept anyone but you and I’m highly certain that Caspian feels the same way.”

Soarynn almost finds herself nodding to his proposal when she realizes how much time has passed. She’s missed her interview.

“I was supposed to have an interview today,” she says, more to herself than to him. “I was going to be a secretary for a law firm.”

President Snow quirks an eyebrow yet he does not look surprised in the slightest, “I know,” he plainly states, “I was the one who referred you.” Soarynn's jaw slightly drops, she hadn't expected him to have a helping hand in landing her interview but President Snow is full of surprises it seems. He scoffs a laugh at her dumbfounded expression, "Don't look so stunned," he tells her, leaning back in his chair, "you're an excellent worker, even if you didn't list me as a reference."

Soarynn blushes at his comment, she had chosen to forego listing him as a past employer for many obvious reasons, worrying that he might say something to further ruin her reputation. But instead, he helped her.

"Then you knew about it," she murmurs, daring to look him directly in the eye, "you knew my interview would be today, so you showed up right before I left."

The President of Panem almost looks...caught if that's even possible. Guilty would be a better term for it.

He cards a hand through his golden curls and sighs deeply, "I must admit that showing up today was a strategic plan on my part and a desperate one on Eudora's part since she's quite eager to have you back with us. We figured catching you before the interview would be our best route."

Soarynn didn't realize she was so special.

"Well, I...I would not be opposed to working for your family again," she says, straightening up in her seat, "but I would like to request a few things should I agree to your terms."

President Snow gives her a teasing look as if he hadn't expected this, but Soarynn would be a fool to blindly agree to come back without a safety net in place, "Go on," he encourages, "tell me your terms and conditions."

Soarynn clears her throat, feeling as if she's conducting a business meeting with him. Her father used to do this with her all the time when she wanted something, have her draft up a business proposal, or well, a semblance of one. That's how she got Petunia, a compelling argument can go a long way.

But this isn't her father.

"I would like actions to be taken to prevent another incident from occurring," she states, watching his eyes flash with anger but not at her, she knows who he's really mad at. "Not just in your home," she elaborates, "but anywhere we go, anywhere something bad could happen."

He laces his fingers together, "Anything else?"

"Yes, the children need something to look after, some responsibility like a pet." His nostrils flare at her suggestion, you'd think she suggested setting fire to the Mansion, "A pet is a huge undertaking," he tells her, using the same voice he uses with his girls, "not to mention messy and loud. An animal in my house is quite unlikely."

Soarynn frowns and rubs soothing circles on Caspian's back when he slightly stirs, "A horse then," she decides, "build a stable and allow the girls to take riding lessons. They could learn a great deal by taking care of the horse." He looks off into the distance as if contemplating her proposal and Soarynn hopes he'll accept it, the girls love animals and while a dog might be better suited for them, a horse is a step in the right direction.

"I'll speak to my groundskeepers about building stables," he finally says.

Soarynn cheerfully nods, "Wonderful."

"Is there anything else?"

Soarynn tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth, she can't think of anything else off the top of her head, except..."I want you to listen to me when I try and tell you something," she tells him, "I want you to trust that I would never do anything to put your children in danger and if someone says I would, then I want you to come to me first, not fire me first."

His throat bobs and she knows she's got him. Soarynn shouldn't be talking to her boss this way but this might be her only chance.

"Alright Ms. Nightingale," he says slowly, "I'll agree to your conditions. They seem fair and logical, and I can have my secretary write up a contract listing all of them for the two of us to sign off on."

Soarynn is buzzing with excitement, she gets to go back, to be with the children again.

"Now let me list my terms and conditions."

What?

President Snow wears a smirk letting her know that this won't be a one-sided exchange, "For starters, you'll actually take your one day off every month instead of spending it with my children. I know you've been avoiding those days but it's important for one to have a day of rest."

Soarynn slightly slouches in her chair but doesn't argue with him, perhaps a day off every now and then wouldn't be the worst thing. "Secondly, and I'm speaking for my entire family when I say this, we want you to become a live-in nanny."

Soarynn scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. A live-in nanny?

He waves off her confusion with the wave of his hand, "You'll move into the mansion with us, be with my children at all hours of the day instead of returning to your home every night." He looks around the study that hasn't been touched since the day her father died, dust covering almost anything, "I have a feeling that it must get quite lonely in this large house."

Soarynn purses her lips, it certainly does get lonely but she has Petunia to keep her company and she can't just abandon her. "I'd have to bring my cat," she tells him, watching his jaw clench, "I can't leave her, she's all I have left of him," she whispers the last part. "Besides, the girls already love her and she won't cause any trouble I swear. All she does is sleep."

They're at a bit of a standstill, both wanting something from the other, not willing to give up or back down.

Finally, he breaks.

"Fine. Your cat may come but should she damage any of my property, she's out."

Soarynn can't hide the smile growing across her face, she gets her children back and Petunia gets to come with her. Oh, the girls will be so excited when they hear the news. "You can start today I presume?' He asks while rising from his seat. Soarynn quickly nods and does the same, adjusting her hold on Caspian, "Yes sir."

He grunts, "Very well then. Pack your things and my men will bring them all to the Mansion this afternoon. You and the children can return home once you're finished packing."

Soarynn's smile slightly drops at his orders, "You're not coming with us?" He looks perplexed by her question and sudden disappointment but shakes his head, "I have meetings to attend in the city. I assumed you would accept my offer so I would then be able to leave my children in your trusted care once again. I have another car waiting outside to take you all back home."

Soarynn purses her lips but she doesn't push him any further, this discussion has been a lot for the both of them.

"Home," Caspian repeats, now wide awake. Soarynn softly chuckles and places a kiss on top of his head, "Mhm, we're all going home Cas."

President Snow eyes her and his son, a somewhat fond expression in his eyes although she doubts it's for her and most likely for his son, but she wonders what it would be like for him to look at her that way. He might have looked at Livia like that once upon a time before their world came crashing down.

"Daddy! Daddy look!"

The girls come running into the study, drawing their focus to the topic at hand which will always be the children. Soarynn looks down to find a very annoyed-looking Petunia with a pink ribbon tied around her neck while being held in Ceraphina's arms. She lets out a pleading meow when she sees Soarynn as if saying: 'Save me.'

A small smile graces the President's lips, a genuine one at that, reserved only for his darling children, "She doesn't look too pleased about playing dress-up darling." Ceraphina shakes her head, "She loves it, don't you Petunia?"

Petunia does her best to avoid eye contact with anyone, looking at the ground instead, "Your house is so big Soarynn," Celeste tells her, reaching up to take her hand. Soarynn gladly takes it, knowing now to cherish every moment with these sweet angels, "I won't be staying in it for much longer," she muses, watching both girls grow curious faces. "What do you mean? Are you moving?" Celeste asks, tugging on her hand with an anxious look on her face.

Soarynn immediately crouches down so she's at eye level with both girls who have been dealing with loss for quite some time now, her departure only adding to that trauma, "I am moving," she tells them, watching the crestfallen looks on their faces only grow deeper causing a smile to grow onto hers, "because I'm moving in with you. I'm going to be your live-in nanny now."

The change in their demeanors is instantaneous, the girls go from on the verge of tears to shrieking and jumping up and down.

"Really?! You're really gonna come live with us Soarynn?"

"I am," Soarynn confirms, "Petunia is too."

This might be the best news the girls have ever gotten. They go from hugging Soarynn to hugging their father, thanking him for allowing Soarynn to return. Caspian rests a hand on her cheek and she turns to look into his blue eyes, identical to his father's, "Stay," he says with a determined tone.

Soarynn nods, pressing a kiss to his hand, "I'm staying," she tells him, "I'm not going anywhere."

꧁ ꧂

Everything becomes a blur once President Snow leaves.

After saying goodbye to the children and making them promise to behave, he left for his meetings and Soarynn took the children upstairs so she could start packing.

She packs the necessities first, things such as toiletries and her favorite clothing items while the girls run rampant through her room, wanting to see and touch everything she's ever owned. She doesn't mind though, she's simply happy to be back in their presence again. Caspian sits atop her bed, watching her pack her things into a suitcase while Petunia sits next to him, both their curious blue eyes watching her every move.

"Soarynn, who's this?"

Soarynn glances over at her bookshelf where Ceraphina and Celeste are staring at a photograph of her and her father together, taken the day she graduated from the Academy. "That's my father," she says with a sad smile, "he passed away a while ago."

Ceraphina reaches out to touch the photograph, gently so she doesn't risk knocking it over, "Where's the pictures of you with your mommy?"

A wave of sadness washes over Soarynn, knowing that she'll never have a photograph of her and her mother together is a painful reminder of how her mother passed away. "She died when I was a baby," she explains, "so we never got to take a photo together."

Cera Nightingale was known for her beauty and acts of kindness. She was known to be graceful and full of life, lighting up every room she walked into. So it was no surprise that she fell for Glen Nightingale, a quiet man with a large heart and a kind demeanor. The couple had been overjoyed when they found out Cera was pregnant with their firstborn daughter, who would unbeknownst to them, take Cera's life during the traumatic birth.

And yet her father remained endlessly kind and patient with her, even though Soarynn carried guilt deep down, a feeling that she was responsible for killing her mother. She didn't speak of her mother often, the last time she spoke of her was with President Snow who remarked on their similar looks and traits of kindness, both things she would never bear witness to.

"It's okay," Celeste tells her, crossing the room to place a comforting hand on Soarynn's leg, "as long as we have Daddy, we'll be okay." Soarynn finds it so very adorable and kind of Celeste to be comforting her in this time of sadness, especially at such a young age. President Snow had commented on how she might make his children more kind but that seems impossible, they're already endlessly kind.

"Yes," Soarynn agrees, "we'll all be okay."

꧁ ꧂

It's a wonderful feeling to be back in the President's Mansion. Soarynn thought she might never grace these halls again, let alone with Petunia who took one look at the grand foyer before turning her head and making her way up the stairs. It might take some more exploring to impress her.

"Here's your room dear," Eudora calls, "right down this hall."

Soarynn finds herself surprised when she realizes that her room is in the same hall as the rest of the Snow family's rooms, right in between the girl's bedrooms and Caspian's room. Probably for the convenience of things but she's still shocked to be in such close proximity to the Presidential family, especially President Snow himself who's now only a few doors down.

"Coriolanus wanted you to have this room," Eudora tells her once they all reach the doors, "he said you might enjoy the view." Eudora pushes the doors open after saying that and Soarynn can't stop the gasp from leaving her lips.

It's gorgeous.

It's also huge. There's a large canopy bed pressed against the back wall which has large windows on each side, letting in so much natural light. To the right is a large sitting area with sofas, armchairs, and a fireplace. There are also bookshelves and a large coffee table in the middle of the seating arrangements.

To the left is a large-looking vanity with a dresser and a full-length mirror in the corner. "Oh my goodness," she whispers as she walks into the room, the girls running ahead of her. "Come and see the closet!" Ceraphina says, running into what must be the closet and bathroom. Soarynn follows her as if in a trance, taking a moment to look up at the high, intricately carved ceilings.

The bathroom is just as massive with a tub, shower, and huge counter space with a large mirror as well. There are two sinks and lots of storage space under the counters as well. Soarynn also notes a built-in vanity area as well should she choose to get ready in the bathroom instead.

"You can put your dresses in here," Celeste tells her, pointing towards the closet. Celeste had taken a liking to all of Soarynn's dresses, claiming they were fit for a princess. Soarynn was honored to be considered a princess even though she felt she was far from being one.

“This is amazing,” she whispers to herself when she finally walks into the large walk-in closet. It’s as big as the bathroom with a large table in the middle with a vase of roses sitting on top of it.

“There’s a card!” Ceraphina says, standing on her tiptoes to reach the card leaning against the base of roses. Eudora ends up reaching it for her, a curious look on the older woman’s face which means she had nothing to do with this mystery letter.

Ceraphina proudly brings it over to Soarynn who reluctantly takes it, turning it over to see if anything’s been written on it.

On the front, it simply reads:

To Ms. Nightingale

She turns it and finds that the back has been sealed with a stamp, a rose in the center of the wax. “Rose,” Caspian says, touching the wax for a moment. Soarynn nods before setting the card down on one of the shelves, “I can read it later. Why don’t you girls help me unpack?”

She’s met with excited gasps from the girls and a relieved sigh from Eudora who had been so very happy to see Soarynn walking back into the Mansion. “We’ve been quite miserable without you dear,” she had said as they walked up the grand staircase, “you’ve left a mark on this family it seems.”

The girls run back out into the bedroom to start unpacking the small bag Soarynn brought with her. The rest of her things are packed in trunks, waiting to be picked up by President Snow’s men, whoever they are. Soarynn has seen so many men over the past few months, ranging from Peacekeepers to diplomats. They have one thing in common: President Snow signs their paychecks.

“I have some things to put together, you know where to find me,” Eudora tells her and Soarynn nods, “Of course. Thank you, Eudora.”

Soarynn lingers in the closet for a moment once Eudora leaves, making it just her and Caspian in this large room with so much space she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to fill it.

What if this all goes away? What if he fires me again? What if I lose the children again?

A million terrible thoughts race through her head, thoughts about being forced out of this house again but this time would be much more painful. To have to pack her things and then leave would be devastating.

But it won’t come to that. Not if she has anything to do with it.

“Rose,” Caspian says again, pointing at the letter.

Soarynn sighs and picks it up again, feeling the paper between her fingertips, “Let’s open it now hmm?”

Soarynn walks into the bathroom and carefully sets Caspian down on the countertop before tearing open the wax seal. Her fingers slightly tremble as she pulls out the thick card, only a few words written on it from what she can see.

“Soarynn! Come look at Petunia!”

Her eyes are glued to the card when she answers, “Coming darling!”

Soarynn sets the card down on the counter, letting out a sigh before collecting herself and picking Caspian back up. She has things to do, a job to do in fact and she plans on doing it better than the first time.

But the letter stays in the back of her mind the entire day.

Those words linger on the tip of her tongue and lead her to think about the man sleeping a few doors down from her.

I do hope you enjoy the view of the gardens, and I do hope you find your new room is up to your standards. Should you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know. I hope we can share another dance in the near future. Yours truly, Coriolanus Snow

꧁ ꧂

꧁ One Week Later ꧂

“I don’t want to wear black.”

Soarynn suppresses a sigh, she knows it’s no use in fighting any of the children today. Not when it holds such a heavy burden on their hearts.

“We have to wear black because Daddy said so,” Ceraphina reminds her little sister, fixing her own black dress, “then we can go put flowers on Mommy’s grave.”

Today marks the two-year anniversary of Livia Snow's death.

It's now a national day of remembrance and many establishments are closed for the day, including all the schools in the Capitol. Soarynn had glanced out of the front windows of the Mansion earlier this morning to see a crowd of people gathering at the front gates to lay down flowers and cards for the family.

The girls were fine during breakfast, chattering away like normal but their father was far from normal, acting more curt and closed off than usual, which was saying something for the man. Caspian didn't seem to be affected by today's significance, but Soarynn still felt terrible about it.

If Livia were still alive, she wouldn't be working for the Snow family.

"It's not a princess dress," Celeste whines, stomping her foot.

Before Soarynn can offer a word of encouragement, an authoritative voice fills the bedroom, stern and sharp, "I will not allow any misbehavior today Celeste. You should know better by now."

Celeste shrinks into herself and Soarynn glances over her shoulder at President Snow, looming over all of them with an aggravated look on his face. She swallows and turns her attention back to the youngest Snow daughter, making sure her hair is properly clipped back, "It's just for a little while darling," she whispers, hoping to salvage the rest of the day, "and you look tremendously grown up in your dress."

Celeste's bottom lip quivers and tears are quick to follow, "I...I don't wanna be grown up, I want Mommy back!" Soarynn's heart clenches at the sight of Celeste in tears, clearly hurting on this dreadful day. "I'm sorry," she whispers, crouching down to comfort Celeste, "I'm sorry she's not here anymore darling. But she's watching over you, and I know she'd be so proud of you." Celeste sniffles and allows Soarynn to pull her in for a hug, a few hiccups escaping her throat, "I don't want Daddy to be mad at me," she whispers, more tears flowing down her face.

Soarynn shakes her head and wipes her tears, "He's not mad at you darling, he could never be mad at you." She looks over her shoulder again at the man who she still knows so little about, but she knows one thing for certain, he loves his children. And he's hurting just as much as they are today.

She can see the sadness in his eyes, watching his youngest daughter break down over the loss of her mother, someone she barely got the chance to know. Ceraphina had been three when Livia passed away, Celeste was two and Caspian was still a baby.

But who could forget a mother's love?

"Come here Celeste," he says quietly, holding out a hand.

Celeste looks up at him with a bit of hesitation and Soarynn gives her a gentle squeeze, "Go on darling," she encourages, standing back up and moving to the side. She watches Celeste slowly walk over to her father, her head lowered, eyes trained on the floor. President Snow sighs and gets down on one knee to be more at eye-level with her.

He takes her small hands in his large ones and while Soarynn can't distinctly make out what he says to her, she knows it's comforting from the way Celeste melts into his hold, letting him wrap his arms around her while they both grieve.

Soarynn has never seen President Snow cry but today could be the day where a tear graces his stoic face.

She looks down at Ceraphina who's watching the interaction with watery eyes as well, "Are you alright Ceraphina?" She asks, wanting to make sure all the children are equally attended to today. Ceraphina nods and wipes any trace of tears away with the back of her hand, "Daddy says it'll get easier," she tells Soarynn, not taking her eyes off of her father and sister, "he says one day we won't be sad when we think about Mommy."

She looks up and gives Soarynn a small smile, "I don't think I can be happy today though."

Soarynn nods, resting a loving hand on top of her blonde hair, "You can be sad for as long as you want darling. No one expects you to get over it in a day or even in a year."

Ceraphina hums, "I know. I'm not like Daddy."

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn hadn't expected the cemetery to be closed today.

But now that she's seen how many people have gathered outside of the fence, she's not surprised. It's the biggest crowd she's ever seen as their car pulls up to the cemetery entrance, two Peacekeepers open the gates so that their car can drive through.

Everyone is in black.

A few people wave, all their faces somber. She spots some older women sporting mourning veils while little children clutch onto their parents and watch the car drive by.

She holds Caspian a little tighter in her lap, making sure his coat is properly buttoned. It's a cold November day, cloudy and dreary, almost fitting for the occasion.

She watches Ceraphina and Celeste lean against their father, sitting on either side of them while President Snow keeps his eyes closed and his head tilted back. He must be exhausted.

The car slowly comes to a stop and Eudora is the first one out, sporting her own mourning attire, a long black coat, a black wig, and eyelashes to match. Soarynn thinks about how Livia's funeral was the hardest thing for Eudora to plan. And who could plan for something like that?

Soarynn out of all people knows how hard it is to lose a parent. No one should have to plan for something like that.

"Let's go children," Eudora calls, waving them to follow her.

Ceraphina looks up at her father before slowly sliding across the seat and out of the car, taking Eudora's hand the second her feet touch the ground. President Snow finally opens his eyes and leans down to whisper something in Celeste's ear. Her eyes widen and she nods, taking his hand once again before they both get out of the car.

"It's our turn Caspian," Soarynn says softly, making sure she's got a good hold on the youngest Snow child while she steps out of the car. She's offered a hand and manages to keep a neutral expression as she takes President Snow's hand, gracefully standing back up to her full height, "Thank you," she says.

He only nods in response before turning on his heel to lead the way.

Soarynn has never visited Livia Snow's grave so she can only follow him and watch the children. Celeste and her father stay in the front with Eudora and Celeste in the center. Soarynn and Caspian bring up the rear and she takes a quick look around and notes several Peacekeepers either following them or patrolling the perimeter of the cemetery.

Soarynn has gotten more used to their presence but seeing them with their large guns makes her anxious.

Soarynn walks a bit faster to catch up to Eudora and Ceraphina and she lowers her voice before asking her a question, "Are we...are we allowed to be with the family for this?"

Eudora keeps her gaze trained on what's ahead of her but she shakes her head, "You and I will stay back while they visit her grave."

Soarynn hums, focusing her gaze on the back of President Snow's head, his blonde curls swept back and away from his face looking so soft. She wonders if Livia ever ran her fingers through them, if she ever looked up at him so adoringly.

From what Eudora's told her, probably not.

They walk deep into the cemetery, farther than Soarynn anticipated but when she sees the sheer size of Livia's tombstone, she can see why it's so far back.

Many people in the Capitol are rich, wealthy, and elite. But you can't take your money with you when you die. Unless you're Livia Snow. Her grave isn't even a grave, it's a mausoleum with roses growing outside of it. Soarynn has seen many decrepit graves but this is not one of them. The marble stone shines as if it's brand new. They must have someone come and clean it from time to time. Soarynn knows the Capitol citizens often come to pay their respects and leave flowers as well.

The doors leading to the inside are closed and if Sosrynn remembers correctly, they're always closed to the public. Only the family is allowed inside.

President Snow and Celeste come to a halt in front of the stone structure and both of them look back at their remaining family members. Ceraphina lets go of Eudora's hand and slowly makes her way over to her father and sister, reaching up to grab her father's other hand. Soarynn takes in a shaky breath before slowly approaching Livia's gravesite, Caspian feeling so heavy in her arms all of a sudden as if there's a weight on her chest.

Caspian reaches out for his father the second he's within reach, "Momma," he says, pointing at the doors. President Snow's face is grim but he nods, "I can take him." Normally, Soarynn would hesitate, not wanting to burden her employer but today is not the day to question his orders so she silently hands the small boy off to his father who holds him as if he weighs nothing.

"Let's go visit your mother," he says to the children, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a key.

Soarynn takes this as her sign to leave and gives the girls one last encouraging nod before she walks back to where Eudora is standing. They both watch the Snow family make their way inside the mausoleum, all of them scuffling behind one another. "It never gets easier," Eudora says with a sigh, "last year was horrible if you can imagine."

Soarynn certainly can imagine how terrible it must have been, the first year is always the hardest. "He seems tired," Soarynn notes, "his patience is thinner today than it usually is."

Eudora lets out a dry laugh, "If he had his way, we wouldn't even come and visit her. He does this for the children, it helps them understand and move on. But I know he wants nothing more than to move past this."

Soarynn can't imagine wanting to move past the death of her husband if she should ever marry. She'd spend every day mourning his loss and yet President Snow looks like he'd rather be at a meeting.

"I suppose we all grieve differently," Soarynn decides.

Soarynn looks over at the fence where a crowd has gathered, watching them and the Snow family with curious eyes and a few with cameras. "Is there always a crowd?" Eudora perks up and nods, "Oh yes. Last year it was even bigger, that's why we closed down the cemetery today, it was far too chaotic the first time."

It must be terribly strange to have people watching your every move while you mourn the loss of a family member. The Snows are already under a microscope, and Livia's death has only increased people's opinions about them.

"Is it alright if I walk around for a bit?" Soarynn asks, shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat, "I feel a bit out of place just standing here." Eudora gives her shoulder a gentle pat, meant to be comforting, "Of course, dear."

Soarynn offers her a tight-lipped smile before she begins her journey to the far side of the cemetery where many elite members of society have been buried. While none of their graves compare to Livia's, they're still monumental, not to mention incredibly expensive. It's one thing to afford a nice house or apartment while you're living, but to afford a tombstone when you're dead is another thing entirely.

Soarynn wouldn't care if she was buried in a wooden box, but that's just the way things are.

She passes several plots reserved for entire families before she stops in front of the familiar plot, only space for one more grave.

Hers.

She walks up to the graves of both her parents, dusting off any dirt or leaves from the tops. Her fingertips drag over the engraved words on their headstones.

Cera Nightingale - Beloved Wife & Mother "Till we meet again in the meadow."

Glen Nightingale - Beloved Husband & Father "My grief has been the souvenir of our love."

What will hers read?

Beloved Daughter & Cat Owner?

She can't imagine what will happen when Petunia gets older, she's all she has left of her father, and her family for that matter.

"I miss you," she whispers, resting a hand against her father's headstone, "I miss you every time I close my eyes."

Soarynn hadn't known loss until she lost her father. It's terrifying to love something that death can so easily touch.

Soarynn stays there for what feels like an eternity until she hears a small voice calling out her name, "Soarynn!"

Soarynn quickly wipes any trace of tears or emotion off of her face before turning around to face Ceraphina who's run up to her, her cheeks red from the cold. She doesn't look like she's been crying her eyes out which is a good thing she hopes. "Hello darling," she greets her, brushing a stray hair from her face, "how're you feeling?"

Ceraphina shrugs, looking around at the surrounding graves, "I'm okay. We got to pick the roses and put them on Mommy's grave and then I got to talk to her and tell her I turned five and then Celeste talked to her and said she turned four. Then Caspian said something about Lenny except I can't remember the rest. Then Daddy whispered some words and now here we are."

Soarynn looks up to find that the entire Snow family has made their way over to her, Eudora included. Ceraphina peers around Soarynn's legs and her eyes zero in on her parent's tombstones, "Did you know these people?"

Soarynn hums, "These are my parents graves."

She watches Ceraphina slowly approach the tombstones, her small hand resting on her mother's stone, "Do you come to visit them a lot?" Soarynn shakes her head, more guilt eating away at her heart, "No," she answers, "I should visit more often but I don't."

She watches out of the corner of her eyes as Celeste lets go of her father's hand and reluctantly walks over to her big sister, her eyes scanning the engraved words. "Is this about the meadow song?"

Soarynn tilts her head at the question, "The meadow song?"

"Uh-huh. The meadow song with the bed of grass. It says: 'Till we meet again in the meadow.' Is that what it's talking about?"

Soarynn honestly hadn't thought of that before. She'd visited her mother's grave countless times when her father was still alive but she never really considered the meaning behind the words that were the last bits of Cera Nightingale. Leave it to a four-year-old to put the pieces together before she did.

"That's a nice way to think of it," she finally says.

The girls whisper a few things to each other and then turn back around, "Can we leave them flowers?"

A smile creeps onto Soarynn's face at their sweet request. She brought flowers in the beginning after her father died, but she stopped after a while. Stopped trying, stopped trying to heal that hole in her heart. But these girls might just be able to fix it.

"We sure can."

The girls smile and take each other's hands to go and pick some flowers growing near the fence. Soarynn watches them and feels his presence next to her, both of them grieving different losses today, "Do you think they're proud of you?"

Soarynn swallows at his question, it's a loaded one but she never had to worry about making her parents proud. That was never the most important thing to her family. "I think they're cheering me on," she answers, finally looking up at him. Even dressed in all black, President Snow is so very handsome. His gaze never wavers away from his girls but she can see how emotionally exhausting this has all been for him.

"I don't think Livia is cheering me on," he says, shaking his head, "I think she's watching me and thinking about what a failure I am to our children."

Soarynn frowns and rests a hand on his arm before she can stop herself and he finally tears his gaze away from the girls to look down at her, piercing blue meeting stormy gray, "You're not a failure," she says softly, "you're a father, and you're trying your best. Just like my father did. He certainly didn't have it all figured out on the first day."

President Snow looks over at her father's tombstone and he furrows his brows, "Your father was a good man. He had it much harder than me, raising an infant while also mourning the death of his wife and yet he never once thought about hiring a nanny. He said you deserved better, that you deserved his attention and he was right," his eyes hold a hint of what might be adoration but Soarynn isn't sure, "you do deserve better Soarynn."

She could blame it on the wind or the cold but Soarynn feels tears burning in her eyes, "You're a good father," she insists, "I've seen it with my own eyes, you love your children and you're trying to do the best by them, even if it means hiring a nanny. Admitting your weaknesses is the first step to getting stronger. You can't be there for them all the time so you found someone who can. That doesn't make you a monster, it makes you human."

She swears she can see a tear roll down his cheek but her vision is pretty blurry from her own tears.

"Sometimes I worry the grief might never leave," he admits, blinking away any possible tears, "not that we had much love for each other to begin with."

Soarynn can hear the girls running back to them, giggling while holding flowers no doubt to decorate her parent's graves. They both look over and watch the girls run to Eudora first, showing her and then Caspian, who's hugged to her hip the flowers. Caspian smiles and reaches down to touch the petals. So young and yet so much life ahead of him, ahead of all of them really.

"The grief might end someday," Soarynn says, "but the love never will."

| Part 5. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

[strangerfandomfiascos]

I requested this little Narnia one shot from @little-bit-obsessed a couple of weeks ago, go show it some love ❤️🗡🌲✨️

I've found myself unexpectedly back in this fandom for the first time in years so feel free to dm me to chat or discuss giving/receiving requests 🌿

[bizlybebo]

do you ever think about the fact that it’s possible drey ferin and caspian are the same/similar age.

do you ever think about the fact drey was only in his early twenties at the time of the hole in the sea.

do you ever think about the fact that he finally tasted freedom on his breath, he finally felt a hint of that acceptance and that love he never got from his family. the fact that he was finally loved not for how well he followed rules, but for being himself. the fact that he finally found his place w the black rose pirates.

do you ever think about the fact that he lost ten years of himself to the hole in the sea. ten years of his mind. ten years of his life. of the people he loved. jay was still in school playing with dolls, and by the time he saw her again, his niece had grown into a whole adult.

do you ever think about the fact that chip now is nearly the same age that drey was in the oneshot. how do you think he feels knowing chip, in the end, fell to the same thing he did; the black sea.

do you ever think about drey ferin being. yknow. a ferin. the sureshot of the ship. and not being able to use his arms anymore.

do you think about how he was SO FUCKING YOUNG DURING THE EVENTS OF THE HOLE IN THE SEA LIKE I DONT THINK YOU ARE HEARING ME HE WAS YOUNG. HE BARELY MADE IT PAST BEING A TEENAGER. HE IS NOT AN OLD MAN HES HARDLY IN HIS 30S

[puppetmaster13u]

Which Fantasy AU Oneshot Should I work on

(Lil Info Blurbs Below the Poll Itself & Read More)

Griffin: Superbat with lil baby Dick Grayson as well. Mostly Pre-relationship. And an attempted mauling or two, don't worry, Clark is fine.  (Black Jaguar & Harpy Eagle Bruce) (Liger & Scarlet Macaw Clark) (Caracle & Hyacinth Macaw Dick)

Selkie: Brutalia with reverse robins (Selkies are seal shapeshifters) ... Talia is this close to murdering someone because Bruce with babies is adorable in her opinion (Baikal Seal Talia) (Leopard Seal Bruce) (Baikal Damian) (Caspian Duke) (Gray Tim) (Crabeater Steph) (Ribbon Jason) (Monk Cass) (Harbor Dick)

Harpy: Superbat with begrudging-at-first coparenting of the (literal) Robins. Mostly through the doing of said children.  (Crimson Rosella Clark) (Black Drongo Bruce) (Blue-Fronted Robin Dick) (Hooded Robin Cass) (Red-Capped Robin Jason) (Pink Robin Steph) (Collared Bush Robin Tim) (White Starred Robin Duke) (Olive Backed Forest Robin Damian)

Mershark: Twobats with Harvey about to have a breakdown on why Bruce keeps coming to him with all these kids he just finds, apparently?!  (Tiger Harvey) (Great White Bruce) (Thresher Shark Dick) (Hammerhead Jason) (Mako Tim) (Lemon Steph)

Wurm: Batfam with Big Boi Bruce being a social recluse & trying to be a good dad. It's also Very Hard to get a giant serpentine dragon thing to do things it doesn't wanna do